What to Do When There Is No Closure

Closure is important for many reasons and we all need it when something has come to an end. Take for instance when it’s our time to go. The purpose of funerals is to provide some sense of closure by coming to the realization that the person is physically no longer on this earth however painful it may be. This same concept applies to everything in life and this indeed affects your well-being.

When something has come to an end, whatever that may be, closure is a must. It is a must to have that final moment or words that will help you mentally and emotionally come to terms with what has occurred. Whether that is a breakup of a marriage,  boyfriend/girlfriend, friendship, job loss, etc. it is that closure that eventually helps you move on. Perhaps at the moment you may not be happy with the closure, even if one was provided to you, but eventually you will see the blessing that it was.

There are moments though where there is no closure and that for some can be painful. It can be painful when someone breaks up with you with no concrete explanation. It can be painful when anything abruptly ends without any warning or reason. What must one do then? The answer is you have to provide yourself with your own closure.

Closure helps one move on. Unfortunately not everyone will have either the maturity or the strength to provide you with a decent closure that you need. It is in these cases when it is a must for you to provide your own closure. How so? At first it is only normal to play and replay everything that happened in order to figure out what went wrong or what you could have done differently. I can tell you for personal experience that although it may help in some cases, in these kinds of cases where the other person didn’t provide any warning, it’s not even worth your energy trying to analyze what went wrong.

As human beings we are flawed by nature. Each and every one of us carries a luggage. Some luggage may be very heavy, others are light. It is nice if someone is carrying a light backpack, wouldn’t that be nice?! The luggage/backpack that I am referring to is issues, we all have them. The key is to not have such huge issues that terribly interferes with our well-being and to always be willing to work on them. With this in mind, remember that 95% of the things that other people do have nothing to do with you. I will repeat this, 95% of the things that other people do have nothing to do with you. People respond, live and behave according to what they are thinking and how they view themselves. What others have to say about you, what they do and how they respond to certain things is none of your business.

With this said, there will be those who will behave and react in ways that we will never comprehend. As long as you know you have been honest, loving, caring, and all the positive things with the other person, if for whatever reason the other person behaves in a way that makes you feel hurt, know that those who don’t belong in your life have to leave your life. Anyone who doesn’t value you as a person, value your friendship, value what you have to offer, YOU ARE SO LUCKY. Let me repeat, you are so lucky! It is a must for your well-being to stop allowing the lack of closure from others, their lack of vision, for lack of a better word to mean that they can’t see your value, and their behavior to hurt you to such a degree that a piece of you gets chipped.

Bless anyone who leaves your life, it’s your blessing not a curse! Feel grateful for anyone who does you wrong, they taught you a lesson and you know who they are and where they belong which is out of your life! Feel lucky for anyone who can’t see your value, they are already telling you they are not meant to be of any service in your life! Provide your own closure by knowing that you are the winner in any “misfortune”. Provide your own closure by knowing that you did good to the other person so your karma is good. Provide your own closure by knowing your value. It is a must for your well-being.

Closure is an essential part to one’s well-being because it confirms to us that something has ended. However, when closure is not provided to you or when the closure isn’t satisfying to you, it is a must that you provide yourself with your own closure by knowing your value, by knowing that you are ALWAYS the winner whenever anyone lets you go or whenever any door closes. Thank God for those who let you go and for those closed doors, they are leaving space for the right people and things to come your way.

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You Need To Lose In Order To Win

Wouldn’t it be nice that the person that we love loved us back and not have to go through so much hurt when it comes to love? Wouldn’t it be nice not to have to invest so much time nor money in a business when starting out? Wouldn’t it be nice to not have to workout every day and eat right every day for us to see weight loss? Wouldn’t it be nice not to have to go to dozens and dozens of job interviews before finding a job? Gosh, this all sounds exhausting, right?!

One thing we MUST all remember if we want ANYTHING in life is that we need to lose in order to win. “What Aura?! No way! I know there is a better way!” If this is what you are thinking, I’m sorry to disappoint you but it was not me who made up this rule, it was Life who made this rule. In every lose there is a lesson and great things don’t come very quick. Great things like love, a successful business, weight loss, a great career comes with lots of loses because there is great sacrifice involved. Don’t take my word for it, I will give you examples. When starting your own business, there is a lot of money that you have to invest because it’s the money to start the business, the advertising, promoting, education, rent if you have an office space, etc and with all this, there will be lose of money but that lose is gain in the long run, not necessarily in the short term. When you want a career, you need to invest in your education and for those who are doctors, lawyers, psychologists, they know it means thousands and thousands of money that they have to put in before they even succeed financially in their careers. It means most likely going for jobs that won’t pay much now in order for them to be where they want to be. When it comes to love, oh love, this is a big one for many. Those who have found great love I’m pretty sure have had their share of tears, disappointments and suffering before finding their true love. For those who didn’t, good for you, but all those disappointments, for those who have been greatly disappointed in love, they are lessons, yes loses but not so much loses if you consider that those experiences are gains in the long run.

What does this “you need to lose in order to win” have to do with your well-being and life in general? Oh, I dare to say it has so much to do with your well-being and life in general. If you think that the great life you want won’t come with moments of lose, you will be greatly disappointed and most likely you will give up on your dreams of achieving anything when the going gets tough. If you give up on your weight loss journey just because you plateaued or because you are not currently seeing results, you may miss out on some crucial learning that can catapult you to being the person that you want to be! If because you have been “rejected” by people that you like/love you decide to give up on love, you may miss out on recognizing the person that truly is the love of your life! If because you feel that you have invested so much money in your business, spent thousands and thousands of dollars in a business and because you haven’t seen results you give up on your dream of having your own business, you will end up feeling bitterly disappointed, giving up hope on the person that you want to become and you may miss out on being that great person that you truly are!

I think that rather than giving up on what is in your heart, remember that to win there will be some loses, perhaps even huge loses but with every lose comes some gain. It is to your benefit to remember this and to keep this in mind no matter what your goals and dreams are. Losing is not a bad thing. As a matter of fact, if you allow it, losing actually makes you a winner because it takes great courage to be willing to lose in life.