Reframe That Obligation

In today’s post, I would like to encourage you to something that perhaps at first may not seem to really make a difference in your life but it will. Have you ever wondered why going to work doesn’t feel the same as it did when you first started working at your job? Have you thought that your relationship feels like another job rather than something that you enjoy being a part of? Have you questioned yourself why something that you once loved doing you no longer love anymore? Although there can be many reasons for feeling this way, there is one thing that is a common denominator for some and it is the word obligation.

The word obligation, if you think about it, can tense the body. That’s because there is an implication that it is something that one must do rather than because one wants to do. Must and want are two different things. These verbs even feel different to the body and to the brain. It is because of this reason that I would like to encourage you to reframe the word obligation. Instead, I would like to encourage you to reframe it to choice.

Remember, and this is true, that everything is a choice. You working where you work is a choice. It is your choice to work at the job that you work. There are other jobs or careers out there and you instead chose the one you have. Remember that it is a choice to have the husband/wife/companion that you have. You showing affection, love, giving attention, all this you do it because you chose to love this person. So choose to see and know that you investing in your relationships is not an obligation, instead, it’s something that you choose to do.

You living where you live is a choice. You are not obligated to stay where you don’t want to stay. The environment in general is a choice. You choose the kind of people that you want to surround yourself with.

One thing I would like to clarify is that I am aware and I do understand that for some this may not be the case. I do understand that for those who, say for example, have a family to support, there may not be a choice in terms of the job that you may do because you may need the money. But there are two things that are choices and that is that you decided to have a family AND you can change the way you view your job. If you can change your perception of these two things, you can change the way you feel.

Everything must come from a place of love. Obligation doesn’t breed love. Wanting does. The moment you make things an obligation, that’s when things start to lose its glamour. Obligation can make the soul lazy. Laziness can numb us from our joy. The way to bring light and happiness to the things that we once enjoyed is by bringing back that love- love for our work, love for our partner, love for everything.

Remind yourself of the reason why you fell in love with your husband/wife/companion! Remind yourself of why you chose the job you have! Remind yourself how happy you were when you first had that job! Remind yourself when you first bought that house! Remind yourself so that you can start reframing those obligations that you have into choices that you have made. There are times that we must remember in order to get back to our happy place.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon or on Barnes and Noble

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What Does the Death of Anything Mean?

Death is a word that none of us want to hear, read nor say. Yet this is a reality of life since everything in life dies. I am not just referring when it comes to human beings, I’m referring to absolutely everything from seasons to even the job that you have. “Omg Aura, you are taking this overboard” you may be thinking. As a matter of fact, I’m just stating the facts of life and you will see how this relates to your well-being and how you can use this for your growth.

Death just means when something ends or ceases. Certain deaths causes sadness like when a loved one dies or even the end of a marriage. Believe it or not, even while you are on this earth you will have certain parts of you that will cease as well. This is just a natural and necessary cycle of life.

Why is this a natural and necessary cycle of life? Because without the cessation of things, there is no growth. Things need to change and end for there to be an evolution. A great example I can think of is when you become an adult. You have to put away/end your childish ways. You can’t be an adult with childish ways, that can’t happen because they both don’t go together. When you feel ready to go into another phase of your life, there is a part of you that is dying in order to make way for the new you to come out. So in essence, there are always things that are dying because they make room for other things to come into our life. When it comes to those that we love, when they pass that is a different kind of death and that is not the death that I am referring to in this post although that is what most people think of when they see or hear the word.

The death of anything in your life, (with the exception of loved ones because that is not what I am referring to in this post), doesn’t have to be the end of everything. It just means a new chapter of your book, a new phase in your life, a new you and growth. It’s all in how you want to view it and how you feel about it. Allow for the end of anything in your life to mature you and make you into a better person. Allow the end of something to be the beginning of great things. It is a must to remember that death is a natural process of life and a must in order to expand in well-being.

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The Importance of Seeing the Bigger Picture

About two weeks ago I spoke with a good friend of mine and after she shared with me how wonderful her weekend was, I shared with her something that got me all worked up. It was something of no importance in comparison to the grand scheme of things but at the moment of that (what irritated me) happening, I couldn’t help but feel that way. This makes me wonder how many of us get so worked up over meaningless things that are not even worth our energy.

I write this post because just like the way I felt that day, I bet many other people feel that way only on a constant basis. If this is the case, it is crucial to see the bigger picture. When you allow yourself to get caught up on the day to day things that happen, you can lose sight of the bigger picture. And what is that bigger picture? The bigger picture means whatever that bigger picture is for you since it can mean different things to different people. The bigger picture that I think is so universal to everyone is knowing that at the end of the day, whatever made you angry is really nothing. Remembering that there are bigger things that matter most like family, your true friends, having health, having stability whatever that stability is for you.

By allowing yourself to get all caught up on the day to day things, you are robbing yourself of health. How so? Every time you get so worked up over little things, you waste your precious energy that you can be utilizing towards more productive things. Every time you get angry, your body changes and not in a good way. It is hard to focus on the positive when all you see is that one thing that irritated you.

One thing that I would like to clarify is that I am not saying to ignore what you feel or act like what bothers you doesn’t bother you. You are human after all and as a human being, you are an emotional being as well so it is only normal and natural to get angry or annoyed sometimes. It is important to feel your emotions but not let your emotions rule over you.

By seeing the bigger picture, you don’t allow yourself to get caught up on the day to day stuff that can be sometimes irritating and this is because you have in the front of your mind what really matters to you. By seeing the bigger picture, you allow the things that don’t matter to just slide down and not get to you. Someone said that every morning he puts butter all over him from head to toe, that way nothing sticks to him and I just love this analogy. It is something to do mentally every morning because the truth is that there will be things that will irritate you but it is not worth to allow that to get to you. For your overall well-being, it is important to learn to see the bigger picture and not allow things that don’t really matter get to you.

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