It’s Right Now That Matters

I think we are all good at planning. We plan for tomorrow, next week, for the next few months, even the next few years. What we sometimes fail to realize is that it is not the future that matters as much as the present.

We have been fed the false idea of needing to always plan. Yes, indeed there are certain things that we do need to plan if we are to be successful at certain things. If you want to lose weight, you need to plan your weight loss. You need to plan so that you can be prepared for any challenging moments which will arise. Vacations need to be planned, etc. However, the one thing that you can not plan is your happiness. Planning for happiness is planning for failure and disappointments. This is because happiness is right NOW. Happiness is not tomorrow, it is not when someone plans something with you, it is not going to a particular place. It is right now.

I know this sounds easier said than done at times. You may wonder how can you be in the present moment when perhaps you may not be happy with your present time. First thing I have to say is that if you are not happy with your present time then your focus isn’t in the right place. It is necessary to shift your focus. You shift your focus by thinking about all that you currently have that you can be grateful for. You probably have read and heard this over and over again but what this does is that it changes your focus so that you can start changing your feelings.

What is the easiest thing that you can do right now that would give you peace? It could be something as simple as watching something that makes you smile, going for a walk, connecting with nature, drawing, anything that brings you joy. By doing this, what you are trying to let go is the resistance that you are feeling for what you don’t like in your present life. Although you can’t control outside things, you can always control yourself and how you are feeling.

Decide to enjoy the now. Be present in this current moment because indeed this is what you have. How are you currently feeling? Sit with those feelings. What are some of the things that come to your mind? Be mindful of the thoughts you have. Your thoughts become your feelings and your actions. Also, if you feel any negative feelings, sit with them for a moment. Feel them. Don’t be afraid of them. Observe and try to understand them. There is nothing wrong with feeling your emotions.

The moment you find yourself thinking, worrying, etc. about the future, stop yourself. This is the fastest way to anxiety, depression, and not enjoying the moment. Enjoy what you are seeing now, go out and see something wonderful; don’t deprive yourself of joy. Remember that YOU are your joy, not a person, circumstance, place, or thing.

I hope this post gets you thinking that it’s the now that matters. Everything else is an illusion. Everything else is just a distraction from your present time which is indeed a present. Everything else is a fantasy. The real joy is in the now and when you can fully understand and embrace that, that’s when you will start living life.

It is my intention that this post helps you think of your now in a different manner. That this helps you connect to your true self, not the self that others think or say. That this post helps you see that worry, anger and even joy are created within you and by focusing on your present moment, you will be able to create the joy that you so desire.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon or on Barnes and Noble
You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at and you can listen to my online radio show at I now have a YouTube channel which I will ask that you subscribe for more tips to increase your well-being

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Are You Wasting Your Time?

There are many times when we may not even realize it until it is too late that all we have been doing in life is wasting our time. Sometimes what makes us come to this realization is either a sickness, a disability, a loss of some sort and none of this is necessary for us to come to this realization.

Now, this question that I just asked on the title will have different answers for everyone. That’s because everyone’s definition of living life and enjoying life will be different. What I may find as enjoyment may be different for someone else. So for this reason, you can’t go to anyone else for an answer, you have to look within you.

Even though the answer to this question will be different for everyone, there are some basic things that I think are time wasters for everyone no matter how different we may all be for certain things. Time wasters would be being angry at others, being worried all the time, not working on the relationships that truly matter most, taking those you love for granted, focusing on things that are no longer in your present life or focusing on what could have been but isn’t, being angry with Life for the things that you don’t have in life or for what was taken away from you. All these things are what I call paralyzers because they do just that, they paralyze you. They paralyze you mentally, physically and emotionally. They don’t help you move forward and see all the goodness that you still have. They make you blind. They hinder you from enjoying life.

Being angry at someone else is not hurting the other person, it is hurting you. The other person may not even be aware of what you are feeling but you are and that can make you even more angry because it does hurt to know that you care while the other person doesn’t. Depending on what it is that made you angry, that anger may be easy to let go or not. Whatever it is that made you angry, know that by continuing to feel this way, the only person who are hurting is yourself. There are times when other people may not even mean to harm us and so this is another reason why it is not worth getting so angry. As my very good friend Dawn reminded me over and over, no one can make you feel a certain way unless you allow them.

Being worried all the time is just paralyzing in every aspect. It paralyzes you mentally because the worry that you feel can stop you from thinking of making the right decision. It paralyzes you physically because the worry can make you not want to take any action. We usually worry about something that hasn’t happened yet and this stops us from living the present moment. If you want to be able to look at your past and think of it with good thoughts and feelings, then you must enjoy this moment because this moment will be past. Besides, worry just attracts more of the things that you are worried about.

One of the things that matters so much in life is the relationships we have in our life. Not cultivating them is, to me, equivalent to not saving money and the reason for this is because whether you realize it or not, the relationships that you have with others are an investment. What you give to others is what you get back. Family is one thing we tend to take for granted and think about this, when you are in your down moments, it isn’t a job or strangers who will be there for you, it is your family and close friends so make time for those you love and love you.

I can tell you that focusing on what no longer was in my present paralyzed me for a bit and made me waste my time by not looking forward. That is what focusing on what could have been but isn’t, focusing on what you no longer have and what you feel Life has taken away from you do to you, it keeps you from looking forward. I know it can be challenging at times but it is a must to look forward to more goodness in life. Part of life is transitioning from one stage of life to the next and we must embrace this if we are to be happy.

So now I challenge you to think whether or not you are wasting your time. This simple question can transform the way your life is right now if there is any part of it that you are not happy with and can add more well-being to you.

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There Is Value In This Very Moment

I’m in Astor Place now and I’m reminiscing the time that my best friend, Elizabeth Beltran, and I some years ago used to go to BBQ’s for a drink. I remember the conversations she and I used to have about men and about life in general and I remember these times with such tenderness. As I look back, if I can turn back time, I would have appreciated more those moments I had rather than worry about a future that hasn’t arrived yet.

Lots of times we worry about a future that hasn’t arrived and think about the things that we do not have that we lose sight of all that we do have and at the value that this very moment has. This very moment will be the past and the next minute is the future. We sometimes forget that we are creating the future this very moment.

As I look back at every disappointment, every hurt, every joy, every laughter, I can start to see the value in it. There is value in every moment. Even this very moment has value no matter what state you are in now. There is something that we are learning every single day if only we are open to it. This moment that we have we won’t get it back, therefore, it’s best to enjoy it.

When you can’t seem to value the moment you have, question yourself why that is. What are you thinking that is preventing you from enjoying the moment? Ask yourself what are your worries. A lot of times you may notice these are worries that perhaps you are creating in your mind. If not, then ask yourself what can you do to make the situation better.

The best way to make our lives better is by savoring this moment. When you savor the moment, you are adding more health into your life, your energy changes and you are overall a better person. The best way to have a good past that we can look back and just smile is by savoring this very moment. The best way to have a great future, believe it or not, is by making the most of the moment that you have right now because what you do now does have an effect on your future.

Rather than worrying about what hasn’t happened yet, think about all that you have now. It’s because we worry about how things will happen, the wondering how we’re going to make it happen that we fall in the trap of not enjoying where we are. I know because I did this for too long. Too much worrying, apart from not allowing you to enjoy the moment, it makes you physically sick, clouds your mind, fills you up with negativity and robs you of your essence. Anything that robs you of your essence is not worth it.

It’s understandable to be disappointed, sad, perhaps even feel anger for not having certain things in life. Perhaps you’ve been waiting too long for something to happen that hasn’t happened. Whatever it is, it is critical that no matter what it is that you don’t have yet that you enjoy this very moment because there is value to every moment. Savoring this moment will also add more health and well-being into your life.