The Problem With Unresolved Issues

One of the things that can ruin one’s well-being without one realizing is any unresolved issues and this is what I will be writing in today’s post.

Why write about unresolved issues? Because unresolved issues can prevent you from living your life fully. Unresolved issues can make you push away all the goodness and you may not even understand why. Unresolved issues can make you chase all that is not good for you and you may not understand why. Unresolved issues can make you hold on to something that is hurting you and you may find it hard to let go. Unresolved issues can lead you to do things, accept people and circumstances that are unhealthy and can lead to destructive choices. No, I am not exaggerating, it CAN lead to destructive choices.

How can one know when they have unresolved issues? I think the best way is by looking at how your life is. Take a look at what you have been attracting, take a look at what you have been accepting in your life, take a close look at your relationships and take a closer look at how you feel and think about yourself. We accept what we think we deserve. We accept what we feel we deserve. When you know that you deserve better, you don’t accept anything less. Based on the way you view yourself and your life, that’s what you tend to accept.

Where do unresolved issues come from? How does one get to this point? There are many things that can lead to one having unresolved issues. It can come from your childhood, from your parents, the way you were treated in school, any rejection you may have had in the past, any failure and the most important especially as an adult, your perception. Perception is a big one because your perception of anything is everything. What is done to us is not what really matters, it is the way we perceive what happened what matters most. The way that you get to a point of having an unresolved issue is that when something occurs, you perhaps didn’t give it much thought and didn’t processed how something either made you feel and your thoughts of what happened, the lessons, etc. It is important to give things room- give yourself as well as what happened room so that you can digest it. The best way to resolve something is by processing it. It is a mistake to sweep things under the rug or substitute what hurt you for another without first letting it sit for a bit until you learn the lesson and then move on. This is how many without knowing and unintentionally hurt others.

Unresolved issues….it is a must to deal with the issues and move past it. Once again, it is a mistake to sweep things under the rug, substitute what hurt you for another without first letting it sit for a bit until you learn the lesson and then move on, a huge mistake to numb your emotions with alcohol, drugs, food or anything in an unhealthy manner. If you don’t want the issue to creep its ugly head, you might as well learn and grow from it.

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“Thank God For Our Mistakes!”

So many times we are so hard on ourselves for the mistakes that we make. Very rarely do we stop to think of the importance and lesson of that mistake. Well, I have a different take on mistakes and hopefully this will help you look at them from a different light.

You need mistakes to grow. Mistakes are life lessons. It doesn’t make you weak. It doesn’t make you less of a person. Viewing mistakes as weaknesses does harm to you psychologically because it affects your self-esteem. Once your self-esteem is affected, this starts to affect your decision making, making you more likely to make MORE mistakes.

A mistake can reveal so much to you about your mental, emotional and spiritual state. Allow that mistake to be your teacher. Allow that mistake to make you mature. Allow that mistake to make you into a better person, into the person that you were meant to be. When you do this, you will notice yourself making less mistakes, you grow in self-confidence, and you will learn things about you that you probably never knew about yourself. This is exactly what life is about, continuous growth. It is this growth that will allow you to blossom into the beautiful, extraordinary person you were meant to be. This is what mistakes can do for you if you are open to it.

Now I would like to clarify that I am not advocating to making mistakes that you know before making them that they are mistakes. No, but if you made a mistake, don’t dwell on it. Don’t shrink because of it. No! We are humans and as humans we will make mistakes from time to time. From someone who tends to be a perfectionist, I can tell you that being hard on yourself when making a mistake is detrimental to your wellbeing. You would do yourself a big favor by being gentle with yourself the way you would with a friend and accept that you made a mistake and learn from it. This is just one of the many ways to add more wellbeing into your life.