What to Do When There Is No Closure

Closure is important for many reasons and we all need it when something has come to an end. Take for instance when it’s our time to go. The purpose of funerals is to provide some sense of closure by coming to the realization that the person is physically no longer on this earth however painful it may be. This same concept applies to everything in life and this indeed affects your well-being.

When something has come to an end, whatever that may be, closure is a must. It is a must to have that final moment or words that will help you mentally and emotionally come to terms with what has occurred. Whether that is a breakup of a marriage,  boyfriend/girlfriend, friendship, job loss, etc. it is that closure that eventually helps you move on. Perhaps at the moment you may not be happy with the closure, even if one was provided to you, but eventually you will see the blessing that it was.

There are moments though where there is no closure and that for some can be painful. It can be painful when someone breaks up with you with no concrete explanation. It can be painful when anything abruptly ends without any warning or reason. What must one do then? The answer is you have to provide yourself with your own closure.

Closure helps one move on. Unfortunately not everyone will have either the maturity or the strength to provide you with a decent closure that you need. It is in these cases when it is a must for you to provide your own closure. How so? At first it is only normal to play and replay everything that happened in order to figure out what went wrong or what you could have done differently. I can tell you for personal experience that although it may help in some cases, in these kinds of cases where the other person didn’t provide any warning, it’s not even worth your energy trying to analyze what went wrong.

As human beings we are flawed by nature. Each and every one of us carries a luggage. Some luggage may be very heavy, others are light. It is nice if someone is carrying a light backpack, wouldn’t that be nice?! The luggage/backpack that I am referring to is issues, we all have them. The key is to not have such huge issues that terribly interferes with our well-being and to always be willing to work on them. With this in mind, remember that 95% of the things that other people do have nothing to do with you. I will repeat this, 95% of the things that other people do have nothing to do with you. People respond, live and behave according to what they are thinking and how they view themselves. What others have to say about you, what they do and how they respond to certain things is none of your business.

With this said, there will be those who will behave and react in ways that we will never comprehend. As long as you know you have been honest, loving, caring, and all the positive things with the other person, if for whatever reason the other person behaves in a way that makes you feel hurt, know that those who don’t belong in your life have to leave your life. Anyone who doesn’t value you as a person, value your friendship, value what you have to offer, YOU ARE SO LUCKY. Let me repeat, you are so lucky! It is a must for your well-being to stop allowing the lack of closure from others, their lack of vision, for lack of a better word to mean that they can’t see your value, and their behavior to hurt you to such a degree that a piece of you gets chipped.

Bless anyone who leaves your life, it’s your blessing not a curse! Feel grateful for anyone who does you wrong, they taught you a lesson and you know who they are and where they belong which is out of your life! Feel lucky for anyone who can’t see your value, they are already telling you they are not meant to be of any service in your life! Provide your own closure by knowing that you are the winner in any “misfortune”. Provide your own closure by knowing that you did good to the other person so your karma is good. Provide your own closure by knowing your value. It is a must for your well-being.

Closure is an essential part to one’s well-being because it confirms to us that something has ended. However, when closure is not provided to you or when the closure isn’t satisfying to you, it is a must that you provide yourself with your own closure by knowing your value, by knowing that you are ALWAYS the winner whenever anyone lets you go or whenever any door closes. Thank God for those who let you go and for those closed doors, they are leaving space for the right people and things to come your way.

You can read this blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

The Real Definition of Strength and Being Strong

Many times we mistaken certain qualities of a person of strength and who is strong for weaknesses that I feel it is important to write about the real definition of strength and being strong just so we don’t get certain things confused.

There will be times in life when our strength will be tested and during times where we have every right to to feel the way we do, certain emotions and actions may be interpreted as weaknesses. I would first like to describe what a person who is strong and of strength is.

A person of strength is someone who shows courage despite the fear. It is someone who does what they can to handle the most difficult situation in the best way they can. This doesn’t mean that they don’t feel resistance with the challenge that is put on their path, not at all. It means that they accept the way they feel, they know they have the right to feel the way they do and they do their best to work through what they are going through. It is someone who does their best to see the positive in their situation. It is someone who puts their best foot forward. It is someone who doesn’t give up even when they feel like it.

A strong person is someone who is creative because they know that despite the circumstances, they have to make things work. It is someone that even when they are down, they still lift others up. It is someone who reaches out for help when they know they need it. It is someone who has the courage to cry when something prompts their tears to fall down their eyes.

As you can read, being strong doesn’t mean that you don’t feel pain, that you are always happy, that everything is going super well for you, that you are superman or superwoman or that your life is all well put together. Not at all! This is because life is not always well put together. That’s because there will always be something put on your path that will challenge you. That’s because you are only human and it is ok to feel sad once in a while when a situation does take you to that point. It is ok to feel pain when a loved one is sick or even passed. It is ok to love and then feel hurt when that love is not corresponded.

It is time that we start giving the real definition to what having strength and being strong mean because for your well-being it is a must to know that life happens, there will be things that will hurt you and there will be times where you will be challenged. There is nothing wrong with seeking help when you need it. That actually makes you a very strong person because it takes maturity to admit when one needs help. If there is any doubt in you as to whether or not you are strong due to circumstances in your life that are challenging, I hope this definition sheds some light to you and provides you with the comfort that you are still a strong person.

You can read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.