The swing….

After I voted last week, as I was waiting for my friend to pick me up so we can have brunch together, I decided to get on the swing for a bit. As I got on the swing, I started to feel like a child again. I always loved swings and the feeling of being in one reminded me of how free of worries we are, free of fears, how daring and persistent we can be as kids. Somehow along the way as we get older, we learn to be the opposite of what we were designed to be all our life. We learn to be fearful, cautious, we give up when we fail, we listen to messages and advice that goes against our true nature and because of this, I want to encourage you to go back and be like a child.

Be like a child and never give up trying no matter how many times you have to try. There may be those along the way who will try to ridicule you for your efforts, who will ridicule you and ask “who are you to be or have the thing you want?”. There will be those who will make fun of you for trying. As a matter of fact, the laughable ones are those who do not try because in the end, they will have regrets for those things that they didn’t do. Those who ridicule you will always wonder what could have been. Zig zagging is part of the process. Sometimes even pausing for a moment is still part of the process. It doesn’t matter the speed as long as you never give up until you reach your goal.

Be like a child and don’t allow fear to stop you. EVERYTHING can be frightening. That’s because everything that is new and unknown can make one feel uncomfortable. Fear of being hurt, oh this is another one. I was falling for this one but the mistake with allowing this to rule you is that you close yourself up to wonderful possibilities. Any hurt is something to learn from and grow and not take personal. If an issue is created as a result of a hurt, then work on it. The only way to truly enjoy life is to remain open to the wonderful possibilities, something kids are so good at doing.

Be like a child and be stubborn enough to want what you want if that’s what your heart so desires and stop listening to other people’s voices. What do others know? They are not the one living your life for you. You are the one living your own life so you owe it to yourself to listen to your heart’s desires.

Ah the swing…so glad I got on it to be reminded of the feeling of being a child, the feeling of being free of the things that holds us back as adults and the reminder of being open to the wonders of life. Now I want to encourage you to do the same.

You can read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

The Problem With Unresolved Issues

One of the things that can ruin one’s well-being without one realizing is any unresolved issues and this is what I will be writing in today’s post.

Why write about unresolved issues? Because unresolved issues can prevent you from living your life fully. Unresolved issues can make you push away all the goodness and you may not even understand why. Unresolved issues can make you chase all that is not good for you and you may not understand why. Unresolved issues can make you hold on to something that is hurting you and you may find it hard to let go. Unresolved issues can lead you to do things, accept people and circumstances that are unhealthy and can lead to destructive choices. No, I am not exaggerating, it CAN lead to destructive choices.

How can one know when they have unresolved issues? I think the best way is by looking at how your life is. Take a look at what you have been attracting, take a look at what you have been accepting in your life, take a close look at your relationships and take a closer look at how you feel and think about yourself. We accept what we think we deserve. We accept what we feel we deserve. When you know that you deserve better, you don’t accept anything less. Based on the way you view yourself and your life, that’s what you tend to accept.

Where do unresolved issues come from? How does one get to this point? There are many things that can lead to one having unresolved issues. It can come from your childhood, from your parents, the way you were treated in school, any rejection you may have had in the past, any failure and the most important especially as an adult, your perception. Perception is a big one because your perception of anything is everything. What is done to us is not what really matters, it is the way we perceive what happened what matters most. The way that you get to a point of having an unresolved issue is that when something occurs, you perhaps didn’t give it much thought and didn’t processed how something either made you feel and your thoughts of what happened, the lessons, etc. It is important to give things room- give yourself as well as what happened room so that you can digest it. The best way to resolve something is by processing it. It is a mistake to sweep things under the rug or substitute what hurt you for another without first letting it sit for a bit until you learn the lesson and then move on. This is how many without knowing and unintentionally hurt others.

Unresolved issues….it is a must to deal with the issues and move past it. Once again, it is a mistake to sweep things under the rug, substitute what hurt you for another without first letting it sit for a bit until you learn the lesson and then move on, a huge mistake to numb your emotions with alcohol, drugs, food or anything in an unhealthy manner. If you don’t want the issue to creep its ugly head, you might as well learn and grow from it.

You can read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

One Killer to Great Relationships and Great Life

There are many things that can kill great relationships and life but this week, I would like to write about one that seems to be so prevalent nowadays and that’s such a shame because this one masks great things into something that you would think you have to push away, it pushes away from you things and people that can add to your life as well as make you blind to your own mistake. This one thing is called pride/ego.

It’s important to have pride in oneself- pride in who we are, pride to not allow others to hurt us, pride to set boundaries of what is allowed in our personal space and what is not allowed, etc. However, there is a certain kind of pride that is hurtful to you and that’s the kind of pride that comes from your ego. The ego always seeks to protect itself. The ego is selfish. The ego doesn’t know any better and this is why our pride can’t come from the ego.

How does this pride/ego hurt your relationships and you from having a great life? Well, first off, one may ask what consists a great life. A great life is not just one where you are career wise prosperous or financially prosperous or even when physically you are “healthy”. It consists of so much more such as your mindset, your relationship with yourself, your relationships with others, etc. It consists of having a balance in every area in your life or at least striving for balance. There will be moments where it will not be perfect, a great life is not about perfection. It is about having a healthy balance and having great relationships in life. In fact, relationships and this means any interaction that you have with others, is the basis to a great, healthy life! It is your relationships with others that grows you. It is your relationships with others that truly fulfill you.

How pride kills all this is that it blinds you from seeing things the way they are, it makes you ignore your inner being and what it is trying to tell you, it doesn’t allow you to see where you went wrong when something went wrong. It makes you blind, deaf, numb and all the things that you must not be in order to live a great life.

The way to combat this pride/ego is by being truly honest with yourself as to who you are, what you want, seeing your role in everything that happens and admit the role that you played in anything that happens. Think about the bigger picture. Being right at the cost of your relationships is not worth it. Keeping your pride because you don’t want to apologize for what you did wrong makes you lose. It makes you lose the potential of great people in your life. There is nothing wrong with admitting you are wrong, in fact, that makes you strong. There is nothing wrong with caring because it makes you human.

If you truly care about having a great life, start investing in good relationships- good friends, cultivating your relationship with someone you love, loving your spouse, telling the person that you care that you actually care, etc. Don’t let pride/ego get in the way of your relationships or in the way of you allowing something that can be great from happening. I think if most of us did that, we wouldn’t live in such confusion or hurt.

You can read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

The Fine Line Between Caring About What Others Think and Feel Vs. Not Caring

Since on my last post I discussed how in order to be authentic you have to be true to who you are and this will also mean that you can not care about what others think and feel, then you may wonder whether or not there is a fine line between caring about what others think and feel vs. not caring and to what degree should we care or not care and this is exactly what this post will be about.

First I want to discuss the “not caring part”. The reason why you shouldn’t care so much is because at the end of the day, no one else is living your life for you. No one else has to carry the consequences of your actions. No one else can do anything for you. Others can be a sense of support for you but no amount of support will matter if you are not the first one to support yourself. No amount of love from others will matter if you first don’t love yourself. No amount of any investment that others can do in you will matter if you first don’t invest in yourself. In other words, everything, absolutely EVERYTHING in your life starts with you. YOU are the one that matters most in YOUR life. When it comes to YOUR life, it is you who has to live with you for the rest of your life. Concerning yourself too much with what others will think and feel will hinder you, it will cripple you and prevent you from your own growth. This is because no one truly has the answers to your life. This is because other people may have their own insecurities that they may project on to you. This is because other people may be limited and this limitation includes that they may be mentally limited due to their own ignorance or limiting beliefs. They may be limited emotionally in the sense that they may not believe something is possible when you in your heart know it is. Whatever it may be, other people will always be limited because they are not you to know what you truly need and want.

Now, just because I write that you shouldn’t care about what others think and feel doesn’t mean that this is not a license to disregard other people’s feelings and thoughts and act in a careless manner. Not at all! To a certain degree you have to care because we all influence each other. You matter to someone and what you say and do has an influence on someone else. Even though other people’s happiness is not your responsibility, it is their responsibility, you can add to other people’s well-being by being a sense of joy to them. I think we come into this world to add to other people’s life in tremendous ways, it’s just a matter of us seeing that. It is in this sense that what others think and feel should matter. If your words and actions are going to hurt others, then it has to matter! If what you are going to say or do will add joy to others, then it has to matter! Everything and anything that you do has to come from a place where you are full and good. We have to be real and honest to know that we are not always going to be our best selves. We are only human. However, care about what others think or feel to the degree that you add joy and greatness to others. Not the opposite.

There is a fine line between caring about what others think and feel vs. not caring and that line is where is this caring coming from. Is it coming from a place of insecurity about yourself or is it coming from a genuineness of adding rather than depleting from others? THAT is the fine line. When this caring is coming from a place of insecurity, then you need to value more what you think and feel rather than others. When it comes from a genuine place of adding to others rather than depleting, then that’s when it should matter. Mastering this fine line is a must for your well-being.

You can read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

The Real Definition of Strength and Being Strong

Many times we mistaken certain qualities of a person of strength and who is strong for weaknesses that I feel it is important to write about the real definition of strength and being strong just so we don’t get certain things confused.

There will be times in life when our strength will be tested and during times where we have every right to to feel the way we do, certain emotions and actions may be interpreted as weaknesses. I would first like to describe what a person who is strong and of strength is.

A person of strength is someone who shows courage despite the fear. It is someone who does what they can to handle the most difficult situation in the best way they can. This doesn’t mean that they don’t feel resistance with the challenge that is put on their path, not at all. It means that they accept the way they feel, they know they have the right to feel the way they do and they do their best to work through what they are going through. It is someone who does their best to see the positive in their situation. It is someone who puts their best foot forward. It is someone who doesn’t give up even when they feel like it.

A strong person is someone who is creative because they know that despite the circumstances, they have to make things work. It is someone that even when they are down, they still lift others up. It is someone who reaches out for help when they know they need it. It is someone who has the courage to cry when something prompts their tears to fall down their eyes.

As you can read, being strong doesn’t mean that you don’t feel pain, that you are always happy, that everything is going super well for you, that you are superman or superwoman or that your life is all well put together. Not at all! This is because life is not always well put together. That’s because there will always be something put on your path that will challenge you. That’s because you are only human and it is ok to feel sad once in a while when a situation does take you to that point. It is ok to feel pain when a loved one is sick or even passed. It is ok to love and then feel hurt when that love is not corresponded.

It is time that we start giving the real definition to what having strength and being strong mean because for your well-being it is a must to know that life happens, there will be things that will hurt you and there will be times where you will be challenged. There is nothing wrong with seeking help when you need it. That actually makes you a very strong person because it takes maturity to admit when one needs help. If there is any doubt in you as to whether or not you are strong due to circumstances in your life that are challenging, I hope this definition sheds some light to you and provides you with the comfort that you are still a strong person.

You can read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

It’s Important to Grow Some Balls

In today’s post, I’m changing the meaning of growing balls. When reading “growing balls” one may think of courage but this is not what I’m referring to. “Growing balls” means to toughen up, to be an adult and to be mature.

I will start off this post by sharing that about a week ago, I just had to confront someone, and I have to admit it was not pretty, that just pissed off both someone else and I. This person who I will call Jane, had an attitude with us and just seemed off. At one point, I had enough of her that I had to call her off and I asked her in a tone that was not very nice “What is wrong with you?!”. Jane proceeded to continue to get on our nerves and then broke down with someone else and expressed how she was very sad because her boyfriend broke up with her. That person that she confided with came up to me and said how she is crying and is sad because her boyfriend broke up with her and I expressed how I didn’t give a damn what is going on with her. I stated how she needs to grow some freaking balls because it is no one’s fault that her boyfriend broke up with her. Now you can see where this title comes from.

The reason why I honestly didn’t care and had to express that she needs to grow some balls is because it is important to remember that EVERYONE, not just you, has a story, a baggage, a load that they are carrying. It is NOT other people’s fault what happens in your life and it is certainly not fair to take out on others the hurt that you feel. Little did Jane knew that on that same day it was a month since my dad’s passing and that the other person who she pissed off his father is very ill. Jane had no right having an attitude with us because if that’s the case, then I too have a “right” to have an attitude with others because my dad passed away. The other person too had a “right” to have an attitude with others because his dad is very ill. I hope you can understand why it is wrong to take out on others your frustration and sadness.

Doing so makes people become distant from you. I’m pretty sure it is not your intention to push people away but you do so if you take your frustration and sadness out on others. It makes others resentful of you and besides, I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t want to be thought of as someone who is not nice to be around.

So what is the solution when you feel so much sadness, frustration or even anger? It is not the easiest solution but it is a must and it is to grow some balls. You need to toughen up in life because life is composed of many aspects that unfortunately includes things that we may not like. Break ups are hard but everyone has gone through some heart break. Death is a part of life because it is the cycle of life. Illness is not easy but it is a must to be able to handle it in the best way possible. It is ok to feel sad, angry and frustrated- you are only human. But it is NOT ok to take out your frustration, anger or sadness on others.

Part of being an adult is being mature. It is a must to not act out or lash out on others. It is a must to take things as being a part of life. It is a must to try to look at the positive of things. It is a must to compartmentalize so that you don’t spill onto other areas of your life your frustration.

If the last two paragraphs don’t motivate you to grow some balls, at least remember that everyone has a baggage that they are carrying as well. Some people are better at hiding their heavy luggage than others and this may be the reason that you may not see the load that they are carrying. It is important to be empathetic because you never know other people’s story. I think if most of us could remember this, this could greatly add to our well-being.

You can read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

 

The Secrets to Strength and Clarity

Strength and clarity- two key ingredients needed whenever one deals with very difficult times. Strength is needed because it is a must to be strong enough to not break apart but yet strong enough that at the same time you can still become a better person as a result of what you are going through rather than allowing your heart to harden as a result. You need clarity because it is during difficult times that one has to make very hard decisions and in order to make the right decisions, you need clarity.

With this said, what are the secrets to strength and clarity? The secrets are having a good mind, keeping your emotions in check, compartmentalizing and giving things space.

Having a good mind is extremely important. Without a good mind, you have the wrong perspective, you make bad decisions and everything in your life will reflect what is in your mind. This is because indeed everything starts in the mind. It is a must that you train your mind to be how you need it to be.

Keeping your emotions in check is a must because wherever your emotions go, your body will follow. When all you are feeling are negative emotions, you also make bad decisions and will have the wrong perspective, both not conducive to great well-being. When emotionally you are not right, you won’t want to choose the right foods to nourish your body. Eventually your physical body will suffer as well. We are emotional beings and as emotional beings, we make decisions based on our emotions. This is the very reason why you need to keep your emotions in check.

One thing to learn from men that I think should not be a man thing is compartmentalizing. Men have a fascinating way of separating things, events and emotions and this is a great survival tool. The reason for this is because by compartmentalizing, you don’t spill over other areas of your life the stress that one area of your life is causing you. Compartmentalizing basically is separating mentally and emotionally the different areas of your life. This is a challenge at first if you normally mesh every area of your life but it can be mastered.

It is important to give yourself space- space to feel your emotions, space to be there for yourself, space to tend to your needs, space away from the things that hurt you. The reason for this is to maintain your mental and emotional sanity. Space allows things to flow freely because when you allow things to flow freely, they have a way of getting better. For instance, when you give yourself space to grieve, you are letting that all out which will help you feel better. When instead you bottle your emotions in, it is only a matter of time for that to explode like a volcano. This is why space is very important.

Strength and clarity are two things that although are very important in difficult times it can be a challenge to have, trust me, I know. However, if you work on the ingredients needed to have both strength and clarity, you will surely have both.

You can read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle at http://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

 

It’s Still a Privilege!

This post that I am writing today is one that I write with pain and with so much mixed feelings and I hope this message can make you cherish more certain things if you still have them in your life.

There are things in life that we either take for granted, challenges that we may not like to face, things that we wish we weren’t going through, people who will get us on our nerves and on and on the lists goes. It doesn’t matter how hard the challenge may be, how difficult of a time you may be having, how much someone may get you on your nerves…it’s still a privilege.

That loved that you have by your side that may be getting you on your nerves now, it’s still a privilege that you have them in your life. Remember that someday they may not be there. This difficult time that you may be having, it’s still a privilege because there are lessons to be learned from that experience. That pain that you may be feeling at the moment it’s still a privilege because it makes you see how human you are.

Whenever you feel a heaviness, whenever you feel exhausted and tired of whatever situation that you are facing, please know that life is always changing so that moment that you have, no matter how difficult it may be, it is still a privilege that you are going through it. Life is extremely short and every moment is to be enjoyed. Enjoy that loved one even if they get you on your nerves! Always remind those who you love that you love them! No matter how difficult a moment may be, do your best to embrace that moment! Every moment, even the difficult ones, is to be cherished.

Today’s post I want to dedicate to my dad. It’s still a privilege to be able to fight for you, to be able to struggle with you, to be able to have those sleepless nights just to be by your side whenever you are at a new facility, whenever you feel lonely and need some company. It’s still a privilege although it’s a hard task but because you are a fighter, I am a fighter and even though there are times where it feels like it’s too much, I would still continue fighting along side you. For all those moments that we had to fight along side you that we know we won’t get back, we will still treasure those moments and we thank you so much for all that you are giving to us. We love you and will love you always!

To all of you, please remember that no matter what….it’s still a privilege.

Don’t Become Damaged Goods

I had a conversation with my friend Ozzy about something personal to me and I just loved how he used the term “damaged goods”. “Well, what in the world does this have to do with my well-being?” you may wonder and you will know how as you continue reading.

Part of life is hurt. With every good, there is bad. For every negative there is a positive. Indeed, life is like a battery in this way. There comes a point in our life where we may be hurt by someone or some experience and sometimes that hurt is an unexpected hurt. In these cases, it is easy to become bitter, it is easy to be sad, that hurt rules us and if we’re not careful, we can end up hurting others because of that hurt. No matter what that hurt may be or who caused that hurt, don’t allow yourself to become damaged goods.

Damaged good are just that- they are goods that appear to be good but if you take a closer look, you will realize there is some damage to it. There are certain hurts such as betrayal, lying, etc. that if we don’t heal those wounds, they can damage us, stopping us from any good that can come our way, making us hurt others even if we don’t mean to hurt others. As my soulmate friend Dawn said to me once, “hurt people hurt people”. When you are hurt, all you have to give is hurt. The only way out of this is to admit that you have an issue to resolve, give yourself the appropriate time and space to heal and do your best to be the best you that you can be. Forgive that other person for hurting you and forgive yourself for allowing yourself to be in that situation or for whatever role you played.

The hurt that you went through or are going through is an opportunity for growth. Don’t allow that hurt to shrink you into something less that you are meant to be and have. You are the one who rules over your hurt, not the other way around. It is up to you to decide to rule over your hurt and grow from it. In reality, hurt was never intended to shrink you or to close yourself up, it was meant to be lessons to grow from and become better. The more you start to look at your hurt from this perspective, the better you will be as a person in every sense.

I want to encourage you NOW to start looking at your hurt as lessons. The people you meet and life itself are your teachers. Don’t allow yourself to become damaged goods.

You can read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at http://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

REFUSE!

Refuse! This is a bold word to use but it is a word, a verb, a statement that I think is a must if you want to have great well-being in your life. How so is what I will be discussing in today’s post.

It is just my belief that in today’s society we are being conditioned to think that life is just the way it is- we get sick, it’s just the way it is. We get divorced, it’s just the way it is. We are very tired, it’s just the way it is. Lack of money, it’s just the way it is. Life just is the way it is. Although things do happen in life, I refuse to believe life just is the way it is.

Having the privilege to learn more about our body and nutrition has opened up my eyes so much about many things. Despite the fact that there are times that diseases may “creep in”, your body is just so perfect and I refuse to believe that disease is just a part of life. Refuse to believe that being tired is normal! Refuse to believe that the older you get it’s just normal for your body to have aches and pain! Refuse to believe that the body just deteriorates as you get older! Refuse!

Understanding how complex our mind can be but yet how simple we are at the same time, I do believe it just takes very little for us to either be extremely happy or to be on the other end of that. Yet it seems like there are more and more who are feeling sad or frustrated or even angry with life or with others. When this is the case, it may be tempting to believe that perhaps it’s normal to feel frustrated or angry that maybe it’s just the way life is nowadays. You are designed to have love, be in love and to be surrounded by love. You are designed to be happy even though life may throw challenges in your way but overall you are meant to be happy. Refuse to be depressed! Refuse to having a loveless life! Refuse to feel angry all the time! Refuse to constantly feel stressed! Refuse to live a life that you don’t like!

Oh love! Something we can’t be without and yet when it comes to romantic love, it seems as if it is something complicated at times and hard to find. What is even sad is that what we tend to see in society just feeds this negative notion that one may have in regards to romantic love. When being “rejected”, one may feel tempted to believe that perhaps love is not for them, I know this feeling very well, and this is not so. Rejection is a whole other topic that I will be writing about in a near future. For now once again, refuse to live a loveless life! Refuse to believe that love is not for you! Refuse to allow “rejection” to bring you down! You are meant to be in love and surrounded by love.

Refuse, ah, what a powerful word, verb and statement- one that I encourage you to use in this powerful way if you want to achieve great well-being without being bitter, sad or angry because of what occurs in life.

You can read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at http://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.