I’ve written about many topics when it comes to well-being. I had an interesting conversation last week that left me thinking about this very question “Does the goods justify the arrogance?”. Where did this conversation come from? It came from the fact that someone mentioned that a specific person had the right to be arrogant because that person had the goods to back it up. I couldn’t disagree more and as you keep reading, you will understand how this affects your well-being.
One thing I must say is that there is nothing wrong with giving credit where credit is due. If a person acquires a particular skill that can be hard to master, good for them. If a person has a specific talent, good for them. If a person has several degrees, good for them. If a person is physically gorgeous, good for them. However, no amount of “goods” ever justifies being arrogant. For the sake of this post, when I refer to “goods”, this means any skill, any talent, any attribute that for many are very appealing.
How does this tie with well-being? For starters, we are wired to be connected with others. We are wired to feel love and give love. There is no way to connect with others through arrogance. There is no way you are giving love through that stance. Also, on the contrary to what many may think, arrogance is not a sign of self-esteem or of confidence, it’s actually the opposite. It is a sign of weakness, of insecurity. The truly secure person has no need to think they are better than others. The truly secure person has no need to look nor treat others as inferior. Everyone has their own talents and beauties and those are to be embraced, not thought of as inferior because they may not be as “great” as someone else’s. Arrogance is disconnection. Arrogance divides. Well-being is connection, it is togetherness. It is great to form connections with others from a point of you appreciating what they have and know even if it’s different from what you have and know.
There is no advantage to being arrogant. It just shows that you feel inferior, not superior and it is a sign of weakness. No goods justify the arrogance no matter what that good is. In the end, what you do with that arrogance is you distance pearls away from you.
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I had a conversation with my friend Ozzy about something personal to me and I just loved how he used the term “damaged goods”. “Well, what in the world does this have to do with my well-being?” you may wonder and you will know how as you continue reading.
Part of life is hurt. With every good, there is bad. For every negative there is a positive. Indeed, life is like a battery in this way. There comes a point in our life where we may be hurt by someone or some experience and sometimes that hurt is an unexpected hurt. In these cases, it is easy to become bitter, it is easy to be sad, that hurt rules us and if we’re not careful, we can end up hurting others because of that hurt. No matter what that hurt may be or who caused that hurt, don’t allow yourself to become damaged goods.
Damaged good are just that- they are goods that appear to be good but if you take a closer look, you will realize there is some damage to it. There are certain hurts such as betrayal, lying, etc. that if we don’t heal those wounds, they can damage us, stopping us from any good that can come our way, making us hurt others even if we don’t mean to hurt others. As my soulmate friend Dawn said to me once, “hurt people hurt people”. When you are hurt, all you have to give is hurt. The only way out of this is to admit that you have an issue to resolve, give yourself the appropriate time and space to heal and do your best to be the best you that you can be. Forgive that other person for hurting you and forgive yourself for allowing yourself to be in that situation or for whatever role you played.
The hurt that you went through or are going through is an opportunity for growth. Don’t allow that hurt to shrink you into something less that you are meant to be and have. You are the one who rules over your hurt, not the other way around. It is up to you to decide to rule over your hurt and grow from it. In reality, hurt was never intended to shrink you or to close yourself up, it was meant to be lessons to grow from and become better. The more you start to look at your hurt from this perspective, the better you will be as a person in every sense.
I want to encourage you NOW to start looking at your hurt as lessons. The people you meet and life itself are your teachers. Don’t allow yourself to become damaged goods.
You can read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at http://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.