The Balance Between Giving

I realize that other people can tremendously give meaning to our life. It does because we are social beings and as social beings, we have a need to love others and be loved. In order to live a much more meaningful life, it is essential to be a giver, not just a taker. When one hears the verb “giving”, it can easily be thought of as giving to others, however, there are two types of giving that I would like to discuss in today’s post.

The two types of giving is the one when you give to others and the second is the one when you give to yourself. It’s the balance between the two the key to having a truly meaningful life.

We are meant to share what we have- share who we are, what we know, how we feel, what we possess, the love we have, etc. Keeping all this to ourselves is not only selfish, it will also leave us feeling empty and this is because at the end of the day, even up to the final hours of our life, it is the relationships that we have and the quality of those relationships what will mean the most to us.

There is a sense of satisfaction and even completeness to a certain degree when we give to others. By sharing, we are leaving a part of ourselves with those people and we’re adding to their life. Sharing gives us a sense of belonging as well. The one thing to keep in mind when sharing with others is that it is important to share the right things with the right people. With this I mean that when you share your most valuable possessions- that being your body, your heart, your mind, your emotions- it is important to share them with people who care about you. The body part refers more to when you are in a romantic relationship. Your heart, mind and emotions go for both romantic partners and friendships. One thing you will learn if you haven’t learned already is that not everyone will be worthy of your most valuable possessions. When you share with those who can’t value these things, this is when it is easy to feel empty inside. It is the sharing them with the right people that will make you feel good and full.

Just as it is equally important to give to others, in order for you to give to others it is a must to first give to yourself. You can’t serve from an empty glass and this also is the same when it comes to you. You can’t give to others when you don’t give to yourself. First be very giving to yourself- share with yourself love, respect, kindness, goodness, the best stuff, the best food, etc. It is in the you giving to yourself that you will have more than enough for others. You will be overflowing with goodness for others. One thing I must add is that if you are giving to others so that others can give to you, that is a BIG mistake. This actual giving will leave you feeling empty because first of all, you are taking from the little that you have to give to others. Second, because we are all energy, people can sense when we give in order to receive. People can sense when we are not loving to ourselves or when we give out of desperateness. So giving to yourself FIRST is a MUST.

Balance between these two types of giving is a must because although there is great satisfaction in giving to others, you can’t truly give to others from the heart if you first don’t give to yourself.

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The Need For Human Contact

Nowadays, it seems as if technology is replacing the human contact we used to have and this is all across the board. You see this in stores where little by little you no longer need a cashier to charge for your items. There are machines where you can scan the items of purchase yourself, follow the directions and pay either with cash or credit card. You see this over the phone when calling a company, rather than a human being responding to the call, it is a machine giving you options to prompt you to dial a number not once, not twice, more often than not more than three times before you even speak to a human being. And now this is also spilling over to dating where you are not really dating the person you are with because their attention is also on chatting with someone else over the phone while out on a date with you. I wonder where we are heading as a society with all this technology replacing what is not replaceable and that is human contact.

In a world that is becoming more stressful and where it almost feels as if we are more distant from each other, having human contact is essential. It is that human contact that makes us feel that we are all connected. It is that human contact that makes us feel like we are cared for. We were meant to connect with one another. Technology is such a great thing because it allows us to get close with those that are physically far from us. On the other hand, because of the misuse of technology, this has distanced those that are close by.

My advice to combat that is to start cultivating those positive relationships that you have. Start by spending time with your kids, parents, good friends, etc. Give them your undivided attention when you do spend time with them. Paying attention to something else while being with them doesn’t count. Giving them your undivided attention makes them feel like you are truly there with them and that the time you spend with them matters. When you cultivate healthy relationships, you will notice your inner void or hunger for love dissipating. To receive love you must give love.

Another way of combating this lack of human contact is by being kind and smile at others even if you don’t know them. We are all connected one way or another and what we do to others does come back to us. When you are kind and smile at others, the world smiles right back at you. The gift of your smile can go a long way and can even make someone else’s day. Your kindness can melt a hard heart. It’s so beautiful when providing a service to hear the words “please” and “thank you”. This acknowledges the service that is being provided and that the service is appreciated. So the next time you go anywhere where service is being provided to you, don’t forget the magic words.

Have respect for the way others are, think, where they come from, their likes, etc. We all deserve respect and we all are drawn to those who respects us for who we are. You can not expect others to be drawn to you when you are full of criticism and negativity. Respecting others is respecting yourself. What we say reflects the way we feel about ourselves. Make it your goal to want to learn about other people’s culture, other ways of thinking, learn about other religions so you can learn tolerance. This will help you to be more open-minded and have more respect of other people’s differences.

Be more giving! Give more sincere love, time, attention, smiles, kindness, positivity and details that shows the other person you thought of them. One example of details is when my father was hospitalized, I bought him a small teddy bear which I told him will protect him and watch over him. I poured so much love and positivity on this teddy bear, it was a gift of love. My dad told me that one nurse said she felt the teddy bear was staring at her. I told my dad that was the teddy bear telling the nurse that she better take good care of him. He laughed.

As you can see, there are different ways that you can cultivate more human contact. You can do this everywhere in any situation whether you are at a restaurant or over the phone, for example. Human contact is part of our wellbeing because we are social beings. Make it a goal to have positive interactions with other people and you will grow in wellbeing.