The Interesting Concept of “Breadcrumbing”

I have been hearing and reading lately about the concept of breadcrumbing. For those who don’t know this concept, what this basically means is the act of a person just texting you without any commitment, no phone calls and not seeing each other in person just to keep you hanging. Now, this refers more to dating but when I think about this concept, I would dare to say this is also seen in other relationships that are not only romantic. We are starting to see this concept spill over to friendships as well. Because relationships are at the core of one’s well-being, I will be discussing how detrimental this is when you allow this into your life.

Relationships are necessary for our mental, emotional, spiritual and physical health. Without healthy relationships- let me put some emphasis on “healthy” because this is key- you will literally die while living in the sense that it is love that nurtures us. Healthy love. Once again, the key word is “healthy”.

So what does a healthy relationship look like? Healthy relationships are corresponded, meaning that you both want each other in your life, you both want each other’s company, you both reciprocate affection and effort. Let me repeat, you both reciprocate effort. What I mean with “effort” is that you both take the time to see each other, hang out, get to know each other and hear from each other. When I write “relationships”, I am not referring just to romantic relationships, I include ALL relationships- family and friends as well.

How does a healthy relationship feel like? It feels peaceful, joyous, happy, exciting, comfortable and safe. With “safe” I mean that you feel you can be yourself with the person. If you ever feel like you need to walk on egg shells, you have to hide a certain side of you, uncomfortable or you are wondering whether the other person feels the same way as you, that is not healthy. It’s not healthy because anything that makes you wonder or feel like you can’t be yourself creates doubt within you. Those who belong in your life will NOT make you feel doubtful about yourself.

When you allow someone in your life who only wants to text you, not see you when they can, shows no effort to make you a part of their life, that can hurt your self-concept. It can make you feel unappreciated and unloved because all they are offering you are breadcrumbs.

Breadcrumbs are not healthy at all. They are void of nutrition, apart from the fact that they are not filling. So when someone is only texting you and not taking the time to see you and get to know you, you are missing nutrients such as love, appreciation, acceptance, feeling and being included in their life. All these are nutrients that we need in order to feel and be good. Remember that as human beings we have a need to be needed and loved.

You do NOT deserve breadcrumbs! You deserve and NEED the full meal with the appetizers, the entree, the dessert and all that comes with a healthy, fulfilling meal! Remember that! Breadcrumbs are NEVER satisfying. When all you are accepting are breadcrumbs, you seriously need to question how you feel about yourself. You need to question what do you want out of that other person. You need to ask yourself what do you need. If a “friend” is only offering breadcrumbs, consider that an acquaintance, not a friend. Friendships are like a healthy meal- they are full and satisfying. If you don’t feel that way, it’s time to do some clean up when it comes to your social well-being. If a date is doing that with you, get rid of that s&%$ and move on! What that person is offering you has nothing to do with your value and all to do with what that person can offer which is NOTHING.

Breadcrumbing….it’s important to understand this concept so that you can know when someone is doing this to you. This is something to avoid accepting if you truly want great well-being. Remember, healthy meals are filling. Breadcrumbs….they are not filling at all!

You can read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

Are You Afraid of Your Own Light?

I would dare to say most of us are full of lots of things that we would like to accomplish in life. I am one who thinks that each and everyone of us have something to contribute to others and a light that shines in a way like no other light can no matter how similar that light bulb may be. Even if you think there is not much light to you, you do have a light that can shine so bright so the question isn’t whether or not you have a light within you as much as are you afraid of your own light.

Why am I using this metaphor of a light to describe what you have inside you? Because whether you realize it or not, you have a skills, talents, abilities within you that can illuminate others around you as well as yourself. Your personality, your traits, your character, your skills, talents and abilities are all what I refer to a light because if you allow it, you can shine and help others shine as well. The reason why some people don’t light up as bright as others may be many but I think one of the big reasons is being afraid of that light. With this said, why do we become afraid of our own light?

One reason can be that you may be afraid to stand out. I am one to believe that there is nothing really that flattering about trying to be like others just to fit in when that means that you are not truly yourself. That is doing a disservice to yourself as well as to others. The reason why that is doing a disservice to yourself is because there is nothing like you being so comfortable in your own skin and being your authentic you. There is something so freeing about being yourself that no words can describe it. This is also doing a disservice to other people because there are others that truly benefit in ways that perhaps you can’t imagine just by you being your true self. You have something special that only you can provide. There is someone else’s life that you can change just by being yourself. Perhaps a talent that you have can help another person in need. This is why you should not worry about standing out because you were not meant to be exactly like others. You are meant to be you whoever you are.

Another big one is being afraid that others may be bothered if you are your true self. I believe this, if anyone gets intimidated or bothered by you being who you are, that is their business, not yours. What you need to concern yourself with is not how others are going to feel if you are this or that. As long as who you are and what you are doing is not hurting others, then you don’t need to worry about how others will feel or think. Basically 98% of the time other people’s reactions to things don’t have much to do with us but all to do with them. I can discuss more about this on another post.

If at the moment you feel you are not living the life you want, if you feel you are not living your full potential, I challenge you to question whether or not you are afraid of your own light. Many times it is our own fear that stops us from fully being our true selves and if this is the case, really try to find out why. You owe it to yourself and to others to be your true authentic self and to shine as bright as you can.

You can read this blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at http://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.