Reframe That Obligation

In today’s post, I would like to encourage you to something that perhaps at first may not seem to really make a difference in your life but it will. Have you ever wondered why going to work doesn’t feel the same as it did when you first started working at your job? Have you thought that your relationship feels like another job rather than something that you enjoy being a part of? Have you questioned yourself why something that you once loved doing you no longer love anymore? Although there can be many reasons for feeling this way, there is one thing that is a common denominator for some and it is the word obligation.

The word obligation, if you think about it, can tense the body. That’s because there is an implication that it is something that one must do rather than because one wants to do. Must and want are two different things. These verbs even feel different to the body and to the brain. It is because of this reason that I would like to encourage you to reframe the word obligation. Instead, I would like to encourage you to reframe it to choice.

Remember, and this is true, that everything is a choice. You working where you work is a choice. It is your choice to work at the job that you work. There are other jobs or careers out there and you instead chose the one you have. Remember that it is a choice to have the husband/wife/companion that you have. You showing affection, love, giving attention, all this you do it because you chose to love this person. So choose to see and know that you investing in your relationships is not an obligation, instead, it’s something that you choose to do.

You living where you live is a choice. You are not obligated to stay where you don’t want to stay. The environment in general is a choice. You choose the kind of people that you want to surround yourself with.

One thing I would like to clarify is that I am aware and I do understand that for some this may not be the case. I do understand that for those who, say for example, have a family to support, there may not be a choice in terms of the job that you may do because you may need the money. But there are two things that are choices and that is that you decided to have a family AND you can change the way you view your job. If you can change your perception of these two things, you can change the way you feel.

Everything must come from a place of love. Obligation doesn’t breed love. Wanting does. The moment you make things an obligation, that’s when things start to lose its glamour. Obligation can make the soul lazy. Laziness can numb us from our joy. The way to bring light and happiness to the things that we once enjoyed is by bringing back that love- love for our work, love for our partner, love for everything.

Remind yourself of the reason why you fell in love with your husband/wife/companion! Remind yourself of why you chose the job you have! Remind yourself how happy you were when you first had that job! Remind yourself when you first bought that house! Remind yourself so that you can start reframing those obligations that you have into choices that you have made. There are times that we must remember in order to get back to our happy place.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez. I now have a YouTube channel which I will ask that you subscribe for more tips to increase your well-being https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLZANKeRUFM4YvMXy4HzQrg.

 

You First Need to Be Right With You

I have written and said over and over the things that I am about to write in today’s blog post. Before anything can be right in your life, whether that’s in relationships, especially relationships, job, anything you name it, you first need to be right with you.

Absolutely everything starts with you. Everything is determined by you. You are constantly sending energy that you may not be aware of that affects the way you interact with others. If you want to feel great most of the time, if you don’t want things to affect you negatively, if you want to come from a place where you are authentic, then you first need to be right with you.

What does it mean to be right with you? This means that you are mostly comfortable in your own skin. This means that you are pretty much accepting of who you are, the way you are. It means that you have a strong sense of who you are- of your likes, dislikes, what you can tolerate and what you can’t, etc. It also means that you come from a place where you are not so judgmental of yourself. It means that you have clarity of who you are and where you want to be. You have a strong sense of direction of your life. It also means that you clear the air in your life as to what may be hindering you from being centered and from your growth. Anything and everything that disturbs your peace you do away because you know it doesn’t serve you.

Everything that I just wrote may sound easier said than done but it must be done. For all these to be done, it is a must to have an assessment of your life. Without that assessment, you won’t know what it is that is clouding your life. You won’t know and fully understand why it is that you feel frustrated, why you don’t manifest the things you want in life, etc. It is the knowing that can help you find a solution to what it is that you need to do in life.

Give yourself time to be right with you. Give yourself the space to connect with yourself. Give yourself the privilege of your time, your attention, your love, your own moment to understand you so that you can be right with yourself. The time that you dedicate to yourself, your own attention that you give to yourself, all this and more you deserve. It is not only others who are deserving of your own time, attention and affection. You also need that from yourself. It is only when you give that to yourself that you will be able to be right with you.

Being right with you is so crucial because it is truly the only way to be happy. Nobody else can really help you be right with you, nor should you give that responsibility to someone else. Besides, giving this responsibility to someone else endangers your well-being in every way because you then become a slave to that other person. A slave of what they may think of you. A slave to the way they react toward you. A slave to their affection and the list goes on.

I would like to encourage you to figure out what is it that makes you feel right with you. Is it space? Is it being alone? Is it being in nature? The more you understand yourself, the more balanced you will feel. You will be able to fill yourself up in a way that no one else can. You will know what your needs are. Ask yourself, who is the fabulous person hidden inside you? You may be surprised to learn how amazing you are.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez. I now have a YouTube channel which I will ask that you subscribe for more tips to increase your well-being https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLZANKeRUFM4YvMXy4HzQrg.

 

I decide to live….

In today’s blog post, I would like to encourage you to say to yourself “I decide to live”. Why? Because going through the motions of life is not living, it’s just existing and existing is the fastest way to death.

The reason why I write that it “is the fastest way to death” is because in essence your soul will feel dead. When you just go through the motions of life, not living with a purpose, you will slowly get to a point where you will question what you have been doing and was it all worth it.

So start declaring the following to yourself….

I decide to live despite the fact that I may get hurt. This is because rejection, hurt, disappointments are all part of life. They are part of my growth so that I can make better choices in the future. They all help me get clear as to what I want and need in different areas of my life. They all add up to the bigger picture of life.

I decide to live despite the fact that I may be afraid to make certain decisions. This is because living in fear will only paralyze me and put me further from the person I was always meant to be. I will take risks and I will take these risks because without them, I will remain wondering “what if” and the “what ifs” will only put me in a place full of regrets. I prefer to regret the chances that I took than the chances I never took in life.

I decide to live because when my time comes, I want to be in peace with the life I have lived. I want to be able to say I did everything that I always wanted to do. I want to know that I am leaving a legacy of strength, love and courage.

I decide to live….. saying these kinds of affirmations are necessary for your overall well-being because well-being requires risks. When I write “risks”, I’m not referring to risks that place you or your overall health in jeopardy; I’m referring to risks that you know would be healthy for you but that for some reason you are afraid to make because of a past experience, someone else’s experience, being afraid of the unknown, etc.

When you decide to live, you are making a commitment to yourself to be the best version of you. This is a promise that’s a must if you want to feel whole. This doesn’t mean that you won’t have moments of doubt or even regrets, but this will put you closer to having everything you ever wanted in life. So you decide whether you want to live or exist. I want to encourage you to decide to live because just existing is poison to the soul and that poison will catch up with you.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

 

Become an Asset

On today’s post, I would like to encourage you to do one thing that if you don’t get anything else from this blog, this is one thing that you must do that can dramatically change every area of your life and that is to become an asset.

That’s right! For so many of us it is easy to blame other things, people or situations for our shortcomings, our “failures” whether that be in relationships, money, etc. However, none of this helps. All this does is continue the cycle of misery, frustration and dissatisfaction. I find that the best way to overcome shortcomings, misery, frustration and attracting the wrong things over and over again is by becoming an asset.

Become an asset by working on every area of your life. This means that you work on becoming a better self in every way you can- mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically. So how can you start becoming an asset and in what areas am I referring to?

Become an asset to your family! Everything starts at home. Ensuring that you become the best mother, father, brother, sister, cousin, etc. will help create a very healthy home. This means that you work on being the best version of yourself because you understand that you are a role model for other family members. So make sure you are a good role model to yourself first so you can be a great role model to others.

Become an asset to your husband/wife or companion! You do this by making sure you are in harmony with yourself because you can only offer what you have. This means that you work on any issue you may have, so if you have any hurt or if you are broken, you work towards becoming whole. What constitutes healthy relationships are two whole people. If you realize that you need professional help in order to heal, then go seek that help. You are worth the investment.

Become an asset at work! Always do your best to acquire new skills so that you can have more to add to the work that you do. Do your best to always be grateful for the job that you have. Always strive to be a great coworker for your fellow work colleagues.

Become an asset for your friends! Do this by always striving to make yourself happy so you have more joy to offer to your friends. Always take care of yourself so that you can be that example to your friends. Always strive to be grateful for all you have as a person.

Become an asset to yourself! Yes, you read right. You have to be an asset to yourself. You do this by taking care of your whole body. This means taking care of your mindset, of your spirit and your physical body. This means stating positive affirmations to yourself, doing things that you love, being more loving towards yourself and always striving for happiness. This also means taking yourself away from situations that don’t serve you. This last thing I wrote is a form of love because you don’t allow yourself to be in situations that are harmful to you.

Becoming an asset is about making the effort and taking responsibility for your life. This is crucial to your overall well-being. It all starts with a decision so make a decision to choose yourself first and become an asset.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

The Real Definition of Strength and Being Strong

Many times we mistaken certain qualities of a person of strength and who is strong for weaknesses that I feel it is important to write about the real definition of strength and being strong just so we don’t get certain things confused.

There will be times in life when our strength will be tested and during times where we have every right to to feel the way we do, certain emotions and actions may be interpreted as weaknesses. I would first like to describe what a person who is strong and of strength is.

A person of strength is someone who shows courage despite the fear. It is someone who does what they can to handle the most difficult situation in the best way they can. This doesn’t mean that they don’t feel resistance with the challenge that is put on their path, not at all. It means that they accept the way they feel, they know they have the right to feel the way they do and they do their best to work through what they are going through. It is someone who does their best to see the positive in their situation. It is someone who puts their best foot forward. It is someone who doesn’t give up even when they feel like it.

A strong person is someone who is creative because they know that despite the circumstances, they have to make things work. It is someone that even when they are down, they still lift others up. It is someone who reaches out for help when they know they need it. It is someone who has the courage to cry when something prompts their tears to fall down their eyes.

As you can read, being strong doesn’t mean that you don’t feel pain, that you are always happy, that everything is going super well for you, that you are superman or superwoman or that your life is all well put together. Not at all! This is because life is not always well put together. That’s because there will always be something put on your path that will challenge you. That’s because you are only human and it is ok to feel sad once in a while when a situation does take you to that point. It is ok to feel pain when a loved one is sick or even passed. It is ok to love and then feel hurt when that love is not corresponded.

It is time that we start giving the real definition to what having strength and being strong mean because for your well-being it is a must to know that life happens, there will be things that will hurt you and there will be times where you will be challenged. There is nothing wrong with seeking help when you need it. That actually makes you a very strong person because it takes maturity to admit when one needs help. If there is any doubt in you as to whether or not you are strong due to circumstances in your life that are challenging, I hope this definition sheds some light to you and provides you with the comfort that you are still a strong person.

You can read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

It’s Little By Little, Day By Day

What inspires me to write this is the fact that my family and I are grieving the passing of my father who passed away this past Friday, May 20th. We know it will take time to accept this fact, to find the conformity in how things happened and to accept that he is no longer with us physically. All that anyone can do in circumstances like this is to remind oneself that it’s little by little, day by day.

It’s little by little, day by day that you will start to accept the fact that whatever that is going on in your life is actually going on in your life. This is because it takes time to process things. It takes time to heal wounds. It takes time to understand things. It takes time to process one’s emotions.

It’s little by little, day by day that you will put the pieces together. When one grieves, of course physically you reflect what you feel and it takes a little at a time and day by day to get back to your old self again. It takes time to be able to find things with the same beauty as you once did. It takes time to understand that it is ok to feel what you feel at the moment that you feel it.

It’s little by little, day by day that you start to realize that the ending of something is just the beginning of something new. The end is never the end and even when a chapter ends, life must go on and so you must go on.

It’s little by little, day by day because nothing is done all at once. You don’t just grow from night to day, you don’t just heal one moment to the next, you don’t get over a grief so quick. It’s ok to grieve because in the grieving you are processing what is going on, you are letting out all that you feel, you are little by little putting your own pieces together in a way that only you can do for yourself.

There are different kinds of grieving and although I’m grieving my dad’s passing, one can grieve their marriage or anything that was so meaningful to them. Grief is grief and no matter what the grief is, it takes little by little, day by day.

 

It’s Still a Privilege!

This post that I am writing today is one that I write with pain and with so much mixed feelings and I hope this message can make you cherish more certain things if you still have them in your life.

There are things in life that we either take for granted, challenges that we may not like to face, things that we wish we weren’t going through, people who will get us on our nerves and on and on the lists goes. It doesn’t matter how hard the challenge may be, how difficult of a time you may be having, how much someone may get you on your nerves…it’s still a privilege.

That loved that you have by your side that may be getting you on your nerves now, it’s still a privilege that you have them in your life. Remember that someday they may not be there. This difficult time that you may be having, it’s still a privilege because there are lessons to be learned from that experience. That pain that you may be feeling at the moment it’s still a privilege because it makes you see how human you are.

Whenever you feel a heaviness, whenever you feel exhausted and tired of whatever situation that you are facing, please know that life is always changing so that moment that you have, no matter how difficult it may be, it is still a privilege that you are going through it. Life is extremely short and every moment is to be enjoyed. Enjoy that loved one even if they get you on your nerves! Always remind those who you love that you love them! No matter how difficult a moment may be, do your best to embrace that moment! Every moment, even the difficult ones, is to be cherished.

Today’s post I want to dedicate to my dad. It’s still a privilege to be able to fight for you, to be able to struggle with you, to be able to have those sleepless nights just to be by your side whenever you are at a new facility, whenever you feel lonely and need some company. It’s still a privilege although it’s a hard task but because you are a fighter, I am a fighter and even though there are times where it feels like it’s too much, I would still continue fighting along side you. For all those moments that we had to fight along side you that we know we won’t get back, we will still treasure those moments and we thank you so much for all that you are giving to us. We love you and will love you always!

To all of you, please remember that no matter what….it’s still a privilege.

Ways to Be Lucky

There are different ways to be lucky and the definition of what it means to be lucky will be different for everyone. As I am sitting on my balcony of my new home (this is why I have been MIA for almost a month- trust me, I never forgot my loyal readers), I can’t help but feel lucky.

It’s important for you to know what this definition is for you so that you can start living that life that you want to live. I remember how last year I was thinking how lucky I would be if I could have my morning coffee or even write from my balcony. However, there are other things that you must consider which are the basis for you being lucky and from which to build upon.

The basis are first your health. If you have health, please consider yourself lucky. Without health you can’t possibly do anything, let alone achieve anything. Any dream that you may have, believe it or not, starts with your health. When I write “your health” I don’t refer to just the physical health, I mean your overall health- your mind, your soul and your emotions. Yes, you need a healthy body because that is your primary vehicle but you need a healthy mind because a healthy mind leads you to making wise decisions that contributes to your overall well-being. Emotionally you need to be healthy because we all are emotional beings and the decisions that we make are healthy based on our emotions.

Consider yourself lucky if you have love in your life and I’m not necessarily referring to romantic love, this can be love from your family, friends, etc. Love truly is the basis of everything and it’s what drives us as well. Love truly makes the world go round and it is the primary food for your mind and soul. Consider yourself lucky to be surrounded by love and to have people who would be there for you through thick and thin. It is not about having hundreds of friends, it’s about having quality friends and that’s what truly matters.

Believe it or not, consider yourself lucky if you can dream. It’s free and so necessary for achieving your goals. Everything starts from the mind so if you can first see it in your mind, it is only a matter of time for you to see it in your reality.

Being lucky comes in many forms and it is important for your overall well-being for you to see how lucky you are even in the most simple ways. Doing so will help you feel good about your life and yourself.

You can read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at http://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

Are You Wasting Your Time?

There are many times when we may not even realize it until it is too late that all we have been doing in life is wasting our time. Sometimes what makes us come to this realization is either a sickness, a disability, a loss of some sort and none of this is necessary for us to come to this realization.

Now, this question that I just asked on the title will have different answers for everyone. That’s because everyone’s definition of living life and enjoying life will be different. What I may find as enjoyment may be different for someone else. So for this reason, you can’t go to anyone else for an answer, you have to look within you.

Even though the answer to this question will be different for everyone, there are some basic things that I think are time wasters for everyone no matter how different we may all be for certain things. Time wasters would be being angry at others, being worried all the time, not working on the relationships that truly matter most, taking those you love for granted, focusing on things that are no longer in your present life or focusing on what could have been but isn’t, being angry with Life for the things that you don’t have in life or for what was taken away from you. All these things are what I call paralyzers because they do just that, they paralyze you. They paralyze you mentally, physically and emotionally. They don’t help you move forward and see all the goodness that you still have. They make you blind. They hinder you from enjoying life.

Being angry at someone else is not hurting the other person, it is hurting you. The other person may not even be aware of what you are feeling but you are and that can make you even more angry because it does hurt to know that you care while the other person doesn’t. Depending on what it is that made you angry, that anger may be easy to let go or not. Whatever it is that made you angry, know that by continuing to feel this way, the only person who are hurting is yourself. There are times when other people may not even mean to harm us and so this is another reason why it is not worth getting so angry. As my very good friend Dawn reminded me over and over, no one can make you feel a certain way unless you allow them.

Being worried all the time is just paralyzing in every aspect. It paralyzes you mentally because the worry that you feel can stop you from thinking of making the right decision. It paralyzes you physically because the worry can make you not want to take any action. We usually worry about something that hasn’t happened yet and this stops us from living the present moment. If you want to be able to look at your past and think of it with good thoughts and feelings, then you must enjoy this moment because this moment will be past. Besides, worry just attracts more of the things that you are worried about.

One of the things that matters so much in life is the relationships we have in our life. Not cultivating them is, to me, equivalent to not saving money and the reason for this is because whether you realize it or not, the relationships that you have with others are an investment. What you give to others is what you get back. Family is one thing we tend to take for granted and think about this, when you are in your down moments, it isn’t a job or strangers who will be there for you, it is your family and close friends so make time for those you love and love you.

I can tell you that focusing on what no longer was in my present paralyzed me for a bit and made me waste my time by not looking forward. That is what focusing on what could have been but isn’t, focusing on what you no longer have and what you feel Life has taken away from you do to you, it keeps you from looking forward. I know it can be challenging at times but it is a must to look forward to more goodness in life. Part of life is transitioning from one stage of life to the next and we must embrace this if we are to be happy.

So now I challenge you to think whether or not you are wasting your time. This simple question can transform the way your life is right now if there is any part of it that you are not happy with and can add more well-being to you.

You can read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at http://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

“What Makes You Happy?”

A lot of people have asked me this question and I respond back by asking them several questions and I wait for their response and that ends up being my answer. In other words, I ask them “Can you see? Can you hear? Can you walk? Do you have your health? Do you have your family?” If the response is “yes” to all or most of these questions, then I tell them they have everything to be happy.

I think what happens to us is that we don’t stop for a moment to reflect on all the beautiful things that we have and we are not grateful for having the basic things in life. We tend to be unhappy for the things we don’t have. We live for the future and not the present. We sometimes live for others in order to appear as something that we are not instead of being who we really are. We forget what really matters. No wonder we live feeling so unhappy! We can’t live like this. We can’t progress as people in this state. We can’t give others happiness because we don’t have happiness within us.

Part of having happiness is being grateful for the basic things in life and for the things that perhaps we view as not as important as well. When we learn to be grateful for what we have, something inside of us changes. It’s as if a light was lit in a dark room, we learn to view our life in a different way. Being grateful for the small things attracts bigger and better things into our lives. This doesn’t mean that you won’t have difficult times nor disappointments. However, the positive things will weigh more than the negative things.

“What is it that makes you happy?” Well, this is my answer to this question because in reality what makes us happy are the things that are free, they don’t have a price. The things that really matter don’t come from the material stuff. I think that when we learn that it is the basic things that makes us happy, our life takes a 180 degrees turn. Remember, if you can walk, if you can see, if you can hear, if you have your health and your family, you have everything!