Bad Health Comes In Different Forms

What prompts me to write today’s post is a question that has been on my mind for the longest time and it is “what does it mean to be truly healthy?” Is a person with a physical ailment no longer healthy because of that ailment? Is being healthy an impossible thing to reach? What does truly being healthy consist of? Well, I have my own definition of being healthy which some may not agree with since I believe that bad health comes in different forms.

If you are someone who has no physical ailment but emotionally you are a wreck, I’m sorry to say that you are not healthy. Why? Because bad health indeed comes in different forms. Being healthy is NOT about not having any physical ailment. I believe that those who have any physical ailment but that know how to manage it can still be healthy. In today’s world, it can be challenging to be healthy because there are several things that challenges us such as stress, what we eat and even when we do eat healthy, the way our food is handled doesn’t allow us to be healthy, our lifestyle, etc. My belief is that the absence of illness is not what being healthy is all about. It is the overall lifestyle what makes you healthy.

Do you mentally have huge blocks that makes your life a complete mess? I’m sorry to say that you are NOT healthy. Your mindset is huge and if you mentally are not fit, your whole life will reflect that. It’s time that we stop labelling those with any physical impediment or those with physical ailments as unhealthy because being mentally a wreck is the worst kind of impediment.

Do you have relationships in your life that are unhealthy for you? I’m sorry to say but that TOO is a form of being unhealthy. Relationships are meant to help you grow, to feel a sense of connection, to feel loved and cared for. It is not meant for you to be put down, to deplete from you, to get you in worse shape that you were before. When you are in an unhealthy relationship, you seriously have to question yourself and wonder what is your self-concept and self-esteem. Ask yourself why are you allowing this person into your life. Ask yourself what are you getting from this person. You will come to the conclusion that there are unhealthy dynamics and that you have an unhealthy relationship with yourself.

Indeed bad health comes in different forms and there are different ways to be unhealthy. Before one labels someone who has a physical ailment as unhealthy, it’s important to start analyzing the overall state of the person. It is also time to redefine what being healthy means. Being healthy is NOT about not having any physical ailment, rather it is about the overall state of the person. I believe that one can still be healthy even if they have a physical ailment as long as they know how to manage that ailment.

With this post, I want to encourage you to redefine the meaning of being healthy and to start viewing yourself as a whole person even if you have any physical ailment at the moment. Even if you have no physical ailment, if mentally, emotionally or if your relationships are not healthy, then yes, you STILL are not healthy because the state of being healthy is an OVERALL state of being.

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Don’t Become Damaged Goods

I had a conversation with my friend Ozzy about something personal to me and I just loved how he used the term “damaged goods”. “Well, what in the world does this have to do with my well-being?” you may wonder and you will know how as you continue reading.

Part of life is hurt. With every good, there is bad. For every negative there is a positive. Indeed, life is like a battery in this way. There comes a point in our life where we may be hurt by someone or some experience and sometimes that hurt is an unexpected hurt. In these cases, it is easy to become bitter, it is easy to be sad, that hurt rules us and if we’re not careful, we can end up hurting others because of that hurt. No matter what that hurt may be or who caused that hurt, don’t allow yourself to become damaged goods.

Damaged good are just that- they are goods that appear to be good but if you take a closer look, you will realize there is some damage to it. There are certain hurts such as betrayal, lying, etc. that if we don’t heal those wounds, they can damage us, stopping us from any good that can come our way, making us hurt others even if we don’t mean to hurt others. As my soulmate friend Dawn said to me once, “hurt people hurt people”. When you are hurt, all you have to give is hurt. The only way out of this is to admit that you have an issue to resolve, give yourself the appropriate time and space to heal and do your best to be the best you that you can be. Forgive that other person for hurting you and forgive yourself for allowing yourself to be in that situation or for whatever role you played.

The hurt that you went through or are going through is an opportunity for growth. Don’t allow that hurt to shrink you into something less that you are meant to be and have. You are the one who rules over your hurt, not the other way around. It is up to you to decide to rule over your hurt and grow from it. In reality, hurt was never intended to shrink you or to close yourself up, it was meant to be lessons to grow from and become better. The more you start to look at your hurt from this perspective, the better you will be as a person in every sense.

I want to encourage you NOW to start looking at your hurt as lessons. The people you meet and life itself are your teachers. Don’t allow yourself to become damaged goods.

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Are You Wasting Your Time?

There are many times when we may not even realize it until it is too late that all we have been doing in life is wasting our time. Sometimes what makes us come to this realization is either a sickness, a disability, a loss of some sort and none of this is necessary for us to come to this realization.

Now, this question that I just asked on the title will have different answers for everyone. That’s because everyone’s definition of living life and enjoying life will be different. What I may find as enjoyment may be different for someone else. So for this reason, you can’t go to anyone else for an answer, you have to look within you.

Even though the answer to this question will be different for everyone, there are some basic things that I think are time wasters for everyone no matter how different we may all be for certain things. Time wasters would be being angry at others, being worried all the time, not working on the relationships that truly matter most, taking those you love for granted, focusing on things that are no longer in your present life or focusing on what could have been but isn’t, being angry with Life for the things that you don’t have in life or for what was taken away from you. All these things are what I call paralyzers because they do just that, they paralyze you. They paralyze you mentally, physically and emotionally. They don’t help you move forward and see all the goodness that you still have. They make you blind. They hinder you from enjoying life.

Being angry at someone else is not hurting the other person, it is hurting you. The other person may not even be aware of what you are feeling but you are and that can make you even more angry because it does hurt to know that you care while the other person doesn’t. Depending on what it is that made you angry, that anger may be easy to let go or not. Whatever it is that made you angry, know that by continuing to feel this way, the only person who are hurting is yourself. There are times when other people may not even mean to harm us and so this is another reason why it is not worth getting so angry. As my very good friend Dawn reminded me over and over, no one can make you feel a certain way unless you allow them.

Being worried all the time is just paralyzing in every aspect. It paralyzes you mentally because the worry that you feel can stop you from thinking of making the right decision. It paralyzes you physically because the worry can make you not want to take any action. We usually worry about something that hasn’t happened yet and this stops us from living the present moment. If you want to be able to look at your past and think of it with good thoughts and feelings, then you must enjoy this moment because this moment will be past. Besides, worry just attracts more of the things that you are worried about.

One of the things that matters so much in life is the relationships we have in our life. Not cultivating them is, to me, equivalent to not saving money and the reason for this is because whether you realize it or not, the relationships that you have with others are an investment. What you give to others is what you get back. Family is one thing we tend to take for granted and think about this, when you are in your down moments, it isn’t a job or strangers who will be there for you, it is your family and close friends so make time for those you love and love you.

I can tell you that focusing on what no longer was in my present paralyzed me for a bit and made me waste my time by not looking forward. That is what focusing on what could have been but isn’t, focusing on what you no longer have and what you feel Life has taken away from you do to you, it keeps you from looking forward. I know it can be challenging at times but it is a must to look forward to more goodness in life. Part of life is transitioning from one stage of life to the next and we must embrace this if we are to be happy.

So now I challenge you to think whether or not you are wasting your time. This simple question can transform the way your life is right now if there is any part of it that you are not happy with and can add more well-being to you.

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You Need to Make Room For Everything

I wrote a post last year about what does it mean to be a positive person and I wrote that being a positive person doesn’t mean that you are always happy and that you just ignore everything that is going on. What I didn’t mention is that truly positive people are the ones who make room in their life for everything, the good and the bad. Making room for everything is so beneficial for your overall well-being and this is what today’s post is about.

Depending on the kind of person that you are or depending on how you have managed to resolve any issues that were unresolved issues in the past, it may be easy to make room for the good things in life. The reason why I started the sentence with “depending on the kind of person that you are or depending on how you have managed to resolve any issues that were unresolved issues in the past” is because believe it or not, there are those who don’t make enough room for the good things in life and this is not healthy. When this is the case, this may indicate that you have a fear of success which needs to be addressed as soon as possible since this is a hindrance to your happiness and well-being.

Likewise, you need to make room for the “bad” stuff as well. What do I mean with this? Whenever you feel sad or angry, make room for these feelings. Don’t hide them nor deny them. Allow yourself room to feel this way, what you can’t do is sit with this feeling for too long. You need to make room for the “bad” stuff because when you don’t, it just boils inside you like a volcano and it’s just a matter of time for that volcano to erupt. Instead, when you make room for this, you are releasing these energies in a healthy way by tending to them, by paying attention to them, by understanding them. I’ve wrote this before and I will write it again, there is power in understanding your feelings. There is also power in making room for these feelings.

How do you make room for everything? When it comes to the “bad” stuff, (and I write “bad” in quotation marks because these things don’t necessarily need to be bad), make some time to feel these emotions. So if you’re feeling sad, set some time to feel that sadness. Cry if you have to but once that time is up, that’s it. That way you can release those emotions rather than hang on to them. Understand those emotions. Emotions provide feedback as to where you currently are in your life, what you need and what you should be doing. After you understand your emotions then do something about what you are feeling. Whatever it is that makes you feel that “negative” emotion, then it’s best to stop doing it. Do things instead that will make you happy. Pay attention to the feedback and act accordingly.

Make also room for the good stuff. Make sure you get your daily dose of happiness. You need to make room for all the good stuff in life. After all, you deserve the good stuff. Make sure you do things that makes your soul beam with joy. Make sure you surround yourself with love and loving people. Make sure you allow yourself to be successful in love, in money, in everything. There are times that we don’t realize that we hinder these things from us.

Part of well-being is also making room for everything in life. It is the making room for everything that allows us to learn and grow from our experiences and makes us appreciate certain things better. It also allows us to have a better understanding of ourselves and others.

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“Why Do Good People Get The Short End of The Stick?”

I had a very interesting conversation with someone some days ago in which that person asked me “why do good people get the short end of the stick?” Now, when people ask this and I know this because I have asked myself this question before, this question stems from some sort of hurt that the person may feel. Perhaps that person gave their all to someone they love and was hurt and disappointed by them. Perhaps that person lost their job that they love in an unfair manner or they didn’t get the promotion that they felt they deserved or perhaps they feel that life hit them so hard. If you have ever asked yourself this question before or you ask yourself this now, whatever it is that happened that got you asking this question just remember this because it is true- great things happen to good people. Great things don’t happen to bad people the way some may think. It just appears this way because of one simple fact, one big element that marks the difference between the “good” people and the “bad” people and it is the sentiment or sensitivity of the person and their perception.

Usually “good” people are more sensitive and so when they get hurt, it really hurts them and they tend to be more giving. The reason why I write the word “good” in quotation marks is because people may have their own definition of what good means and I respect that. So I leave it up to you to determine what “good” people means. Back to what I was saying before, if you are very sensitive, you may intensify that hurt and when you do, all you can see is hurt and disappointment so it will, indeed, feel like you get the short end of the stick. If instead you look at your hurt as a lesson and part of your growth, it won’t hurt as much and you certainly won’t feel like you get the short end of the stick.

I would like to clarify that I am not saying to brush off your hurt and act like what bothers you doesn’t bother you. No! Not at all! I am all for feeling, accepting and embracing your emotions but you can’t stay with that negative emotion for long. Learn from your emotion. Try to understand your emotion. Your emotions are a part of you but that negative emotion doesn’t have to own you! When you remain with that negative emotion, that will put you in a state of self pity, hopelessness and so on, leading you to question “why good people get the short end of the stick?”.

That very question should be re-framed into another question because if not, that question which comes from a place of hurt, can hurt your well-being and your life in general. This hurts your well-being by putting you in a pitiful state which blocks any good from coming to you. This places you in a victim state which doesn’t allow you to take ownership of what happens and strips your power over your perception and feelings.

Next time you feel tempted to ask this question, rephrase it by asking yourself what is your role in the situation and what could you have done differently. These rephrased questions will help you get the lessons behind what just happened so that whatever it is that just happened won’t necessarily happen again.

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