How to Come From a Place of Authenticity

These past few months and especially now, have been a bit of a turmoil inside me and I am starting to embrace that turmoil. “Aura in a turmoil?” you may wonder. The turmoil that I am referring to is the one where there are debates inside me about things that I need to seriously consider in my life. And it is this turmoil that inspires me to write the following post.

I think that at times it may be a challenge to come from a place of authenticity because of pressures of life. Or is it really the pressures of life? I question this because many times the pressures that we feel are not pressures that are coming from outside of us, they are actually coming from within us. So I would like to encourage you just like I am doing at the moment, to consider the following: What are some pressures that you are currently placing on yourself? Why are you placing those pressures onto yourself?

Many times our obligations rob us from feeling free. They make us feel as if there is one chore to do after another and then another. This can then make us feel as if we can’t breathe. As if there is never a moment to take a break. I would like to encourage you to ask yourself the following: Is it really an obligation that is holding you back? Do you really have obligations or are they things that you have imposed on yourself? Are they obligations or are they choices that you have made? The reason why I want to encourage you to question this is because many times what we call obligations are merely choices that we have made that we are not really conscious that they are choices.

I think it’s easy to want to look outside for the things we want- acceptance, love, understanding, respect, attention. But the biggest mistake in this is that the moment we do that, we give up our power. Many times the emptiness that one feels is something beyond anything anyone or anything else can provide. I would like to encourage you to ask yourself the following questions: Is what I’m missing something that I am not providing to myself? If so, why am I not providing that to myself? Do I feel powerless? If so, then how can I regain my power back?

You see, the reason why I lightly touch on some topics that one needs to pay attention to is because your authentic self lies within you. It lies in understanding yourself. It lies in taking responsibility for your life. It lies in knowing your true essence so well. It lies in taking your power back.

When you put unnecessary stress on yourself, when you feel obligated to do things, when you pressure yourself, all these things rob your joy, your freedom and your authenticity. Although everyone is different and unique, your authentic self is to be happy, energetic, in love with life and with yourself. When that is not the case, when you are not happy in any shape or form, then it’s time to reconsider things in your life. Perhaps the changes that you need are minor, perhaps these are things that are not a big deal, but what I can certainly say is that these are not things to be ignored.

Learn to honor your emotions, just don’t sit with them too long if they are negative emotions. Learn to understand your emotions. Discover who you are and what makes you tick. Discover what would make your heart jump for joy. Even discover the things that don’t make you happy. The more you discover these things for yourself, the more authentic you can become.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon or on Barnes and Noble

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The Power of Authenticity

I think we live in a world where we are too concerned with pleasing others, with what others are going to think and with not being rude to others all at the cost of our well-being. Now, I want to clarify that I am not advocating total selfishness nor disregard towards others. Not at all and there is a fine line which we must pay attention. I can discuss that fine line on another post. What I am referring to in this post is the kind of concern where other people’s thoughts and feelings of you are more important than what you truly feel. There is no power in this kind of concern and this is why I am advocating authenticity.

There is power in authenticity. Let me start by describing what authenticity means. Being authentic means being true, it is not false nor is it imitating. So with this said, for the purpose of this post, it means being true to who you are regardless of what others may think or feel. It means you are not trying to be like others just to please others. It means you are not doing something that goes against what you truly feel and think even if others may not understand it and may be offended by it. I will explain what I mean with the latter “…even if others…may be offended by it”. What I mean with that is that there will be times where you will have to say “no” to others, set boundaries because what that person is doing you are not appreciate of, etc. You should never do something that goes against what you feel and think just because you might offend someone. Your well-being, your happiness, your peace of mind and you feeling good with the decisions that you make should ALWAYS go before you worrying about what others may think or feel when you notice that it crosses the line of your well-being.

I have to warn you that authenticity comes with a price. Sometimes a high price but I believe it’s a price worth paying because there is nothing like being authentic. The price is that you will have those who will misunderstand you, those who will criticize you, those who won’t want your friendship perhaps because of who you are, those who will talk wrongly about you behind your back because of your way of being. However, I think it is worse to go to bed feeling so disappointed with yourself for going against your true nature, for trying to fit into something that is so different from you and for trying to fit in or please others. At the end of the day, the reality is that you go to sleep to yourself, you wake up to yourself and when it’s your time to go, you will be in that coffin by yourself so who cares what others think?! You are the only one living your life, no one else is doing it for you! I know this sounds so blunt and crude but let’s be real. It is what YOU think and feel about yourself that matters most.

The power of authenticity is that you start to attract more of the people that you need in your life, people who are similar to you and who adds to your well-being. You will feel good with yourself knowing that you are doing things that makes YOU happy, not anyone else. You push away people and circumstances that in the long run don’t belong in your life. Your life will start to align itself in ways you never thought possible and this is all thanks to the power of authenticity.

Authenticity….so critical to your overall well-being because it is awful to do things that go against what we feel and think, your self-esteem gets chipped away every time you try to fit into something that you’re not and there is no way that your life can be the way you want and need it to be when you’re not authentic. Make it your goal to always be authentic to you no matter what.

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Are You Afraid of Your Own Light?

I would dare to say most of us are full of lots of things that we would like to accomplish in life. I am one who thinks that each and everyone of us have something to contribute to others and a light that shines in a way like no other light can no matter how similar that light bulb may be. Even if you think there is not much light to you, you do have a light that can shine so bright so the question isn’t whether or not you have a light within you as much as are you afraid of your own light.

Why am I using this metaphor of a light to describe what you have inside you? Because whether you realize it or not, you have a skills, talents, abilities within you that can illuminate others around you as well as yourself. Your personality, your traits, your character, your skills, talents and abilities are all what I refer to a light because if you allow it, you can shine and help others shine as well. The reason why some people don’t light up as bright as others may be many but I think one of the big reasons is being afraid of that light. With this said, why do we become afraid of our own light?

One reason can be that you may be afraid to stand out. I am one to believe that there is nothing really that flattering about trying to be like others just to fit in when that means that you are not truly yourself. That is doing a disservice to yourself as well as to others. The reason why that is doing a disservice to yourself is because there is nothing like you being so comfortable in your own skin and being your authentic you. There is something so freeing about being yourself that no words can describe it. This is also doing a disservice to other people because there are others that truly benefit in ways that perhaps you can’t imagine just by you being your true self. You have something special that only you can provide. There is someone else’s life that you can change just by being yourself. Perhaps a talent that you have can help another person in need. This is why you should not worry about standing out because you were not meant to be exactly like others. You are meant to be you whoever you are.

Another big one is being afraid that others may be bothered if you are your true self. I believe this, if anyone gets intimidated or bothered by you being who you are, that is their business, not yours. What you need to concern yourself with is not how others are going to feel if you are this or that. As long as who you are and what you are doing is not hurting others, then you don’t need to worry about how others will feel or think. Basically 98% of the time other people’s reactions to things don’t have much to do with us but all to do with them. I can discuss more about this on another post.

If at the moment you feel you are not living the life you want, if you feel you are not living your full potential, I challenge you to question whether or not you are afraid of your own light. Many times it is our own fear that stops us from fully being our true selves and if this is the case, really try to find out why. You owe it to yourself and to others to be your true authentic self and to shine as bright as you can.

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