The Difference Between Deserving and Entitlement

Last week I wrote about the topic of deserving and I continued to explain how you are deserving of anything that you need and want. I wrote that when it comes to deserving, what really determines this is how you think and feel about what you deserve and this is closely tied to your self-concept and self-esteem. Because of this tie, this definitely has an effect on your overall well-being. However, there is a fine line and it is important to notice the fine line. This fine line is the feeling of entitlement which is the opposite from deserving and it comes from a different place than deserving does. Feeling a sense of entitlement is not beneficial at all to your well-being nor the well-being of others and this is what I will be writing today.

Deserving comes from a place of having a healthy and balanced self-esteem. It comes from knowing that you are a lovable person with so much to offer to this world and that being the unique human being that you are makes you valuable already. Entitlement comes from the ego, it comes from a place of insecurity, from a place of egotism and all this weakens you as a person. How so? There is no way you are in control of yourself when you are letting your ego rule you. I did a Google search on the definition of “entitlement” and I think this definition clues us in to the difference between deserving and entitlement. According to Google “entitlement” means “the belief that one is inherently deserving of privileges and special treatment”. There is your clue-“privileges and special treatment“. You are deserving of good things but it is not healthy to think that you deserve special treatment in comparison to others.

How does feeling entitled hurt your well-being as well as others? Think about this, we are all inherently selfish. This isn’t necessarily bad, but we are that way. We always look at others for what we can get from them. This can be both good and bad, it all depends. Because of this fact, a person that feels entitled may act in ways that are not nice towards others, they may behave as if they are better than others and at the end of the day, who wants to be with someone like that?! This kind of thinking and behaving affects your social well-being.

In this world we are meant to help one another and grow each other. Being a person who feels entitled doesn’t allow you to give much to others because all you can think of is me, me, me. That can cloud you from your sense of purpose. That can prevent you from living a meaningful life because part of having a meaningful life is having a purposeful life. Also, a person who feels entitled doesn’t have much beautiful words to say to others. Even in the most minor way, you do have an effect on others. Why not make that effect a good one?

Entitlement can make you become intolerant of others. How so? Well, when you feel entitlement, because you are coming from a place of me, me, me, you don’t have the empathy to understand others. A perfect example of this is when someone who goes to the restaurant acting as if he/she is the only customer the waiter is serving. A person who feels entitled would be so impatient and even act mean towards the waiter if he/she feels they took long.

Deserving and entitlement….there is a fine line between the two because on the one hand you are deserving of great things in life but it is important to keep that deserving in check so that you don’t cross that line to entitlement. Never think of yourself as better or more deserving than others because that is not so. Other people are just as important as you are regardless of their economic status, of their physical condition, of the ethnicity, etc. If you somehow find yourself crossing that line, for your well-being as well as the well-being of others, get back to knowing that you are deserving and feel grateful for the blessings that you have.

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¿Qué usted piensa/cree que merece?

Hoy me gustaría escribir sobre el tema de merecer y qué se requiere para merecer cualquier cosa. Quisiera comenzar por preguntarle, ¿qué usted piensa/cree que merece? Asi es, esta es la pregunta de esta semana y le pido que mire muy profundo dentro de usted mismo para su respuesta.

La razón por la cual es importante saber que usted piensa y siente que merece es porque esto tiene mucho que ver con su bienestar en general. ¿Cómo así? Lo que sea que usted siente o piensa que merece es lo que va a tener. Entonces, si usted cree y siente que lo único que usted merece es maltrato de los demás, entonces adivine qué, eso es exactamente lo que usted va a recibir. Si en vez de sentir eso usted sabe, cree y siente que usted merece amor y respeto, eso es lo que va a recibir. Su bienestar en general, aunque usted no se dé cuenta, refleja lo que usted piensa y siente que merece. Cuando usted sabe que merece mejor, usted no acepta nada menos de lo mejor. Es por esto que este tema del merecer no puede faltar cuando se trata de su bienestar.

Con todo esto escrito, ¿qué se requiere para merecer cualquier cosa? Es su derecho de nacimiento el ser amado, el recibir amor, el dar amor, el estar saludable, ser feliz, tener riqueza, etc. Entonces, esto no es cuestión de que si hay algo que usted tiene que ser para poder ser merecido pero requiere que usted crea con el corazón y la mente que usted merece cualquier cosa que desee. El elemento más importante es USTED. Este hecho de merecer no tiene nada que ver con sus padres, con sus amistades, con lo que los demás piensan y todo que ver con cómo usted piensa y siente de usted mismo. Si usted no se siente merecido, es importante que usted trabaje con su autoconcepto y autoestima. No hay ninguna otra manera. Este trabajo es necesario para su bienestar en general.

El ser merecido o no merecido…parece ser la pregunta pero esa pregunta está sólo en su mente porque usted fue y siempre será merecido de las cosas que desee. Es cuestión de qué usted piensa/siente que merece. Con esto dicho, lo animo a que comienze a saber con la mente y el corazón de que usted es merecido de todo lo que usted quiere y necesita.

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